As a leader, what do you really want?

The most recent meeting Sara* had with her manager became an instructive story.  During our coaching conversation, her reflection on the exchange allowed her to make some deeper connections.

Recently she began to understand her core motive: “to be in control”.

She now understands how the core motive drives thinking, behavior, and ultimately performance.  When aware of her “need to control” she can choose to be intentional and pro-active.

As she learns to take a deep breath and evaluate her thinking she can  release control.  Her performance is improving; she has freedom to use her strengths as she gets out of her own way.  Every leader can do this.

However, when unaware of her core motive, Sara can be reactionary and unintentional in her behavior.  All of us can be.  Her drive to control pushes her out of control resulting in unproductive behavior, people conflict, and poor performance.

The story comes from a feedback conversation when her control-oriented manager was frustrated.  As her manager tells Sara how disappointed she is the manager moved into out of control behavior.

How do I know?  Listen to her emotionally driven words, “It’s a good thing I didn’t come to your office yesterday or I would have walked you out the door right then.”

Note: What if you ask this manager if she was out of control during the meeting?  Do you think she would own it or deny it? 

As a behaviorial hostage, she may be the only person in the room that doesn’t know how her behavior is hindering her influence.  

Why control the impulse to “control”?

In Leaders Release Control – Part One, I wrote about the illusion of control.

An excessive need to control your [people] will lead to living out of control.  Control is an illusion.  The excessive need to control others lowers performance, yours and that of the people you need to be successful.

Obviously, the last thing you want to do as a leader is hinder performance. Keith Ayers, in Engagement is Not Enough writes about how managers unintentionally increase the disengagement of employees with four obsessions:

An obsession with financial results

An obsession with control

 An obsession with avoiding responsibility

An obsession with logic

He correctly observes the lack of research in support of a control-based approach to leadership and management.   

How does a control-oriented leader show up?  Consider this summary of Ayers’ insights regarding the behavior of such leaders, they:

Assume that people cannot be trusted and send that message to their team

Micro-manage employees, believing that tasks will not be completed to their standards unless they are checking in on their teams

Assume employees do not really want to work; therefore they need to continue driving them to achieve results

Believe that, as the manager, they have all the knowledge and experience, and therefore they need to make all the decisions about how to improve performance

Notice how leaders who seek excessive control display out of control behavior, all the while living with the illusion of being in control.   

What does that look like?

We return to Sara’s story.

Consider the emotional statement about “firing her on the spot”.  Yes, she was out of control.  The manager apologized a little later.  Apology accepted, but…

How do you think this exchange affects Sara’s engagement as an employee?  How would it affect you?

How committed is this emerging leader to an environment where the potential of “one wrong move and you’re out of here” is implied? (By the way, the potential “terminating offense” carries considerable subjectivity and is not a clearly defined expectation.)

Furthermore, how does this behavior create an obstacle to Sara’s ability and willingness to support her manager’s success?

What is the Next Level path?

Leaders who release control demonstrate self-control and gain influence.

What is your goal as a leader control or influence?

Do you want it done “your way” or to achieve the desired outcome?

Do you want a disengaged team member or a passionate contributor to your success?

What are the benefits associated with seeking influence instead of control?

Influence allows support to flow to you instead of trying to take control; it is about collaborating instead of commanding.

• Influence is freedom to deliver positive support of others
• Influence allows you to capture the devotion and allegiance of others
• Influence allows you to achieve your goals with others
• Influence is freedom from trying to prove you are in charge
• Influence allows others to contribute and enjoy success

Why does releasing control improve performance?

Great performance comes from an environment where great people have an opportunity to contribute their unique perspective, talent, and voice to the process, project, or job.  You cannot control the process, but you can direct it as you communicate the vision, set clear expectations, and define desired outcomes.

To release control is an act of liberation from a self-imposed burden. Once free, the power to accomplish more is immediate as you tap into the creativity of others and allow collaboration.  Trust, improved morale, open communication, employee engagement, and improved performance are your reward.

- Steve Laswell

Leaders Release Control – Part 2

How does it happen?

This path requires a change in leadership behavior.

What is the outcome when Sara’s manager exercises self-control, restrains her impulse, and manages her emotions?

What happens when Sara’s development, delivered in an objective style is the focus of the feedback?

How does this support performance improvement?

Leaders who release control demonstrate self-control and gain influence.

 Leadership is influence, not control.

“Be not angry that you cannot make others as you wish them to be, since you cannot make yourself as you wish to be.”

Thomas Kempis

For personal reflection:

Which approach, control or influence, best describes your style?

• What are the benefits of releasing control?
• What has been your experience with control oriented leaders?
• Who has an influence in your life?  How did that happen?

Please add to the discussion by posting your comments below.

*This is not the person’s name, to protect their privacy.

Why control the impulse to “control”?

Last week, while group coaching a local doctor’s office staff, the subject of “control” came up.  During the coaching, we were exploring how behavior puts people in a “box” when I made the statement, “Control is an illusion”. 

One individual strongly questioned the statement.  It appears we prefer the illusion, at a cost; perhaps it is associated with seeking “power”.

When it comes to “control”, the obvious is obvious: we cannot exercise power or authority over the weather, stock market, that favorite sports team, the traffic, etc.   In fact, we “control” very little in life.

When it comes to “control”, the not so obvious is important to remember:  you will not achieve top performance by trying to over control others or the work they do.

As General Sales Manager of the #1 billing station in Oklahoma City, I clearly remember the struggle associated with managing my outside sales team. As I learned to release control, the stress level went down when the focus was on performance outcomes instead of trying to control performance activity.

Yes, management by definition involves exercising power or authority over something or someone; however, the excessive need to control others is unproductive and creates performance issues.  As I noted in last week’s blog,

“An excessive need to control your people, your department or your company will lead to living out of control.  Control is an illusion.  Excessive control lowers performance, both yours and that of the people you need to truly be successful.”

The illusion says, “You’re the manager, you can control these people and make things happen.”  When you buy the illusion it leads to “out of control” behaviors such as micro management, unrealistic expectations, frustration, anger, red in the face, harsh words…unproductive reactions to people who do not do what you want them to do they way you want it done.

Yes, you can try to control others but the success you desire will elude you.  Control is an illusion about most of life including relationships if you want to achieve top performance.

Why does releasing control improve performance?

Great performance comes from an environment where great people are given the opportunity to contribute their unique perspective, talent, and voice to the process, project, or job.  The solution is to direct the performance of others.  This can be done when you communicate vision and purpose, set clear expectations and secure ownership, and define desired outcomes.

Releasing control is an act of liberation from a self-imposed burden. Once free, the power to effect is immediate as you tap into the creativity of others and allow collaboration.  Trust, improved morale, open communication, employee engagement, and improved performance are your reward.

Feel free to enjoy the additional benefit of reducing the stress associated with trying to “be in control”.

When is delegation the path to freedom?

Imagine the task of arranging the seating area for a new coffee shop.  The goal is to arrange a comfortable seating configuration for 38-40 java customers.  You have a mixture of high top and various round tables, two leather sofas, and four upholstered chairs.

The boss gives you the project. With considerable thought and care you place the sofa and chairs against the back wall.  It is the focal point upon entering this happening place.  You are pleased, mission accomplished.

The next afternoon you find the room rearranged.  When you ask a fellow worker she explains how earlier that morning the boss moved the furniture group to just inside the door.  How are you feeling now?

What happened?

• Function: the desired outcome was clear, arrange the seating area to accomodate 40 customers

• Preference: how the resources were arranged

• Behavior:  the need to control drove the manager to re-arrange the furniture

What is the impact? What are you thinking, as the employee now?

When do you delegate?

Delegation is a developmental opportunity allowing someone to grow when given an assignment of value.  It is a  great option when:

• Expectations are clearly communicated (function)
• The desired outcome is understood (function)
• It will stretch them but they have the resources to handle it
• You recognize the 80% of the project that is function
• You release the other 20% of the project which is preference

When will delegation be a challenge?

If you have an excessive need to control you will find it difficult to practice this leadership skill.  To delegate you must release your preference or the mentality that there is “one way to do this”.  As you release control and give freedom to others, you’ll be amazed.

“No man will make a great leader who wants to do it all himself, or to get all the credit for doing it.”

-Andrew Carnegie

For personal reflection:

What is your biggest challenge when it comes to releasing control?

What would you say?

• What is your experience around this issue?
• What have you learned?
• What do you think?

Please add to the discussion by posting your comments below.

Photo by Jaded Delilah

How do leaders control their use of control?

Few people have the ability to throw a small round object over 6o feet within a defined 17-inch wide space somewhere between an individual’s knees and chest.  The ability to place a pitch precisely in the strike zone earns professional baseball pitchers sizable contracts.

The tricky part of the “strike zone” is that it changes with each batter.  There is no “automatic” strike zone and much of what is a strike or not a strike is the judgment of a home plate umpire.  By the way, a fastball travels at a speed of 95-100 mph.

When it comes to the fastest pitcher, the most widely held response remains Nolan Ryan.  His fastball, officially clocked by the Guinness Book of World Records reached 100.9 miles per hour when the California Angels were defeated by the Detroit Tigers August 20, 1974 in Anaheim Stadium.

Why control the “need to control”?

While a pitcher must control his pitch, an effective leader understands the negative effect of an unchecked need to control.  Your ability to release control supports performance.  While management does involve exercising power or authority over something, an excessive need to control is unproductive and creates performance issues.

Have you ever noticed the challenge a new manager faces?  It’s the next level transition – moving from a narrow personal success focus to achieving success with and through others.  It is next level leadership that moves from technical practical understanding to increased influence.  For example, a successful sales professional may fail as a sales manager for this very reason.

An excessive need to control your department or company will lead to living out of control.  Control is an illusion.  Excessive control lowers performance, yours and that of the people you need to be successful.

Michael Hyatt, CEO of Thomas Nelson Publishers supports my point in his blog Leadership: Control vs. Influence

I often hear leaders, particularly younger ones, complaining about their lack of control in various situations. “If only the sales department reported to me, I could consistently hit my budget,” they lament. Or, “If the production department reported to me, I would not have run out of inventory!”

What they are really saying is, “If I could control these people, I could guarantee the results.” The truth is that control is an illusion. You can’t control anyone, even the people that report to you.

The intent is not to eliminate policy, protocol, or process…chaos is not the goal.  The goal is an increase of your influence, freedom, and performance.

 “No man will make a great leader who wants to

do it all himself, or to get all the credit for doing it.”

-Andrew Carnegie

What does it mean to “control”?

Consider the following shades of meaning the Encarta Thesaurus offers for control:

• manage (v.) – organize, be in charge of, run, have power over, be in command of, direct
• power (n.) – jurisdiction, rule, domination
• rule (v.) – manipulate, influence, dominate, oppress, have a hold over, hold sway over, dictate
• restrain (v.) – keep under control, keep in check, hold back, rein in, contain
• monitor (v.) – check, regulate, inspect, limit restrict
• influence (n.) – command, say, sway

What happens when a leader displays an excessive control?

Although this list is incomplete the message is clear, excessive control hinders productivity.  Consider how it…

1. Stifles creativity
2. Lowers morale
3. Increases stress for everyone
4. Interferes with open communication
5. Hinders superior performance
6. Reduces the possibility of trust
7. Increases the frustration of everyone
8. Leads to turnover of motivated and talented people
9. Deteriorates your credibility

10.  Diminishes your influence

11.  Interferes with teamwork & collaboration

12.  Limits the helpful aspect of “managing up”

13.  Weakens relationships

14.  Keeps others from developing and growing their skills

Clearly set expectations are critical to performance.

The Power of “Released Control”

To release control is an act of liberation from a self-imposed burden; trying to control situations, the process, the project, or the people.  Once free, the power to accomplish more is immediate as you tap into the ability and strength of others.  Is there anything on this list you don’t desire for your operation?

1. Increased creativity
2. Improved morale
3. Reduced stress
4. Open communication lines
5. Improved performance
6. Enlarged trust
7. Increasing job-related satisfaction
8. Retaining motivated and talented people
9. Enhanced credibility with your team

10.  Your circle of influence grows

11.  Greater team work  and collaboration

12.  Acceptance of feedback and supportive “managing up”

13.  Stronger relationships

14.  Consistent personal growth and skill development

One this restriction on your future success is eliminated – the need to control – others will contribute and succeed, too.  Sound good?

For additional reflection:

1. When you review “What does it mean to “control”?” which of the descriptors or behaviors best describe what you want?
2. How does the “desire to control” show up in your behavior?
3. Which of the positive outcomes associated with “releasing control” do would improve the performance of your department or company?

True Freedom…Releasing Control

The value of a professional baseball pitcher is his ability to deliver within the clearly defined expectations of a “strike” or “ball”.  As you set clear expectations and release control the possibilities are superior.

Leaders who practice excessive control are living out of control while under the illusion of being in control.

Leaders who practice delegation and give up control will find freedom; success is sure to follow.

Here’s to your Next Level –

What supports you doing what matters most?

It was an re-connecting coaching conversation with Brian, his coaching engagement ended last year.  Staying in touch with my clients is an important and rewarding aspect of my work as an executive coach.

We discussed personal productivity and the internal voices that seek to influence his decision-making. How the voices seek to influence his thinking about time and the use of time.  That only one voice will liberate him to enjoy personal success.

• The Voice of Illusion says, “You’ll have time for that, later…”
• The Voice of Deception repeats, “You are very busy…good job!”
• The Voice of Reality clarifies truth: “You will succeed when you choose, right now to engage in what will produce results.”

My recent post addresses this foundation of personal productivity.

We explored how his personal success will increase as he determines to do what matters most, right now. As Last week’s post suggests it is easier to make wise decisions when you live each day:

• Respecting the fleeting nature of life
• Re-framing work as creative opportunity
• Receiving  motivation from making progress
• Retaining personal accountability for results

Brian then raised a great question:  What can I do that will help me become more productive?

Here are three suggestions…which will help you be more productive?

1. Schedule an Interruption

What happens when you start “researching” using Google?  How often does that 10-minute task expand and you wonder where did the hour go?

As a young kid, we would walk to the playground.  Whether it was for 1on1 hoops or flag football it was easy to lose track of time…do you remember?  Okay, maybe not…but when do you get lost in time?

Back to the busy “research”, just think of all those hyperlinks, no wonder it is so easy to spend a lot of time in web-based research.  Right? The “deceptive voice” cheers you on reinforcing your behavior with, “You’re so busy, good job!” It feels so good, so productive. Remember, activity is only productive when you are active doing what matters most.

What about this “scheduled interruption”?  Set your smart phone timer or an egg timer for a reasonable amount of time for the project.  The timer simply asks you to check-in: are you still doing what matters most, right now? You create a little space so you can make a decision about what to do next.

When would a scheduled interruption support your productivity?

2. Use a 4-D Inquiry

No, this is not a formal investigation regarding your personal productivity.

What happens when you develop the habit of asking questions?  Communication is improved. What happens when you develop the habit of asking yourself questions? Communication is improved which can increase your productivity.

For example, what might happen if you ask yourself the following through-out your day?

• How does what I am doing right now, help me achieve personal success?
• What am I to do with this…report, piece of mail, e-mail, request?
• If I make this new commitment, what will I need to stop doing?

The personal Q-n-A regarding time will lead to increased productivity.

David Allen, dubbed the “Personal Productivity Guru” by Fast Company writes about his system in Getting Things Done – The Art of Stress-Free Productivity. He notes that your productivity and ability to relax are connected.

Here is my interpretation, “The 4-D Inquiry” based on David Allen’s guide for managing all the “stuff” that comes across your desk:

• Do it:  Can you complete the action within a couple of minutes? If yes, do it.
• Delegate it:  Are you the right person for the task? If no, pass it off.
• Defer it:  Will this take more time, but belongs to you? If yes, then schedule a time for it or post it on an appropriate ticker file or list.
• Dump it:  Where does it go when it doesn’t fit any of the above? Drop it.

*For more in-depth productivity help, see David Allen’s book: Getting Things Done

Recently, while discussing the productivity battle with a former employee, she made this significant observation.

“You know, the truth is I’ll never have more energy for a task then at the moment it shows up on my radar.  Once it goes on my “To-do List” there a little less support for getting it done. Every time it rolls over to the next day, there is even less energy. It is best just to get it done if it matters.”

Perhaps her use of The 4-D Inquiry will help.

3. Live in Real Time

Real time is the actual time during which something happens.  In terms of productivity, this is being aware of what is going on with your time, schedule, and focus at any given moment.

This concept is the basis of the Emmy and Golden Globe award winning show 24 starring Kiefer Sutherland.  As you may know, the story unfolds over the course of one day, a very full day! The script and commercial breaks happen, as if in real time. With every episode, you are keenly aware of what time it is…and, that time is running out.

To live in the moment, to be present, to focus is to live in real time.  Knowing why you are doing what you are doing is critical to staying on course and increased productivity.  Clarity here strengthens your resolve to do what matters most, right now in real time.

Productivity is the result of choosing reality over an illusion regarding the use of time.

-Steve Laswell

Questions for your personal reflection:

1. When do you find yourself spending more time in some activity than you originally planned?
2. What might happen if you set your timer to go off every 30 minutes?
3. How could you develop a personal Q-n-A session into your day?
4. How will you incorporate The 4-D Inquiry?
5. Why are you doing what you are doing?  How is your “why” affecting your productivity?

The constant, unproductive preoccupation with all the things we have to do is the single largest consumer of time and energy.

-Kerry Gleeson

Brian reports The 4-D Inquiry is helping him improve his productivity.

Here’s to your Next Level –