In 1971, NBC television brought Columbo (Peter Faulk) into our living rooms. I love the guy. 

As a Police Lieutenant, Columbo is this shabbily-dressed, seemingly slow-witted police detective.  His style is disarming as he fumbles around in an overly polite manner.  Of course this makes him an unlikely choice to solve any crime, let alone a complex murder.

Whether it is put on or his brilliance, disguised by personality, he lulls the murder suspect into a false sense of security. Columbo is actually a brilliant detective. He has an eye for minute details and the ability to piece together seemingly unrelated incidents to solve the crime.

“Just one more thing…”

Do you remember his signature approach?

Columbo’s interrogation technique is to conduct a friendly and seemingly innocuous interview, politely conclude it and exit the scene, only to stop in the doorway or return moments later, “Just one more thing…” (called the false exit) which is always a jarring question regarding an inconsistency in either the crime scene or the suspects alibi.

Sometimes, it’s our ability to stay open to one more idea that brings the break through.

What if two simple words create a question that when answered sets you free to your next level of life success?

If you are new to this conversation we are exploring how two little words become a powerful question — “What if?”

Power is the ability, strength, and capacity to do something; to take action.

Where do you need to take action?

Recently, I suggested this “What if?” question is a partial solution to procrastination.

A well framed question helps us stop and think – a good thing. Some of us can get stuck here; what happens if we stop and think too long or over-analyze?   

Procrastination is a consistent inclination to postpone doing something. Power in this conversation is about taking action.

Procrastination liberation comes when we start moving after we stop and think.

What are you looking for?

Once we stop and think and discover truth we can move forward in personal growth, in life, and leadership development.  

Without truth we remain stuck. The power of a question comes with the truthfulness of the answer. 

How do we get unstuck?

The initial power of a question is to help us stop, think, and discover reality.

Getting unstuck requires action…overcoming the subtle habit of postponing action. Often, that means we must overcome fear.  This when “What if?” may become a powerful, liberating question!

This fear is not about a life-or-death presence of danger.  This fear holds us back, for “no good reason”; it is that feeling of anxiety in ANTICIPATION of uncharted waters in everyday life.

Did you catch that?  Anxiety in ANTICIPATION of what could happen…usually negative-focused.

This is when we can tap into the power of “What if?”

What if I…?

What if I don’t…?

What’s 1 thing?

Will you try one thing?  

What is one thing you can do, to get moving toward your goal, something that is so easy it is laughable?  When stuck, it’s helpful to make that first step so “doable it’s laughable”. That means you find yourself saying, “I can do that!” when you think about taking action.

It’s a sneaky way to manage the resistance.

The Holy Grail of Unstuck

I appreciate what by Michele Woodward writes in her Psychology Today blog:

The other morning I woke to a lovely email from a lovely woman.  She said: “More than anyone, you’re the one who inspires me to do different…not more, not less, just different.”

“Huh”, I said to myself, rather surprised, “she’s uncovered the Holy Grail of Unstuck.”

Because getting unstuck – despite all the hype to the contrary – is not about Go Big or Go Home.  The only person who benefits from that approach is the person who wants to sell you a biggification program at a low-low price.

And getting unstuck is not about the minimalism of a four hour work week.  To tell you the truth, just as I am constitutionally unable to drive 55, I am unable to work four hours and call it a week.  I just get too much meaning and purpose from what I do.

No, getting unstuck is mostly about Doing Something Different.  Just something.  Just trying.

I like that, what one thing you will do different?

What can you do different today to get moving? 

What suggested action brings the response: “I can do that!”?

What if . . . ? Answer this simple question and you may just receive the power to act.  

Now, what if you forward this to a friend?

What if you post a comment and engage in the conversation?

I’d love to hear your voice. 

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What happens when you let someone in on the secret of your gratitude?

The senior leadership team of the hospital had invited me to participate in a one day retreat.  The CEO and his team were getting away from the hospital for time to re-group.

Yes, there was a bit of tension.  I was invited to facilitate a leadership development session. Trust had become an issue. On top of that, the economy was starting to add pressure to an already intense sector.

What’s grating on you?

The question we began to explore was this “How does gratitude impact work relationships?” 

Before I posed the question we did a quick exercise around “gratefulness”. One of the words found in gratefulness is “grate”.

“Grate” presents a powerful image.

What happens when you grate a carrot, a round of cheese, or a potato?

That’s right, it’s reduced to fragments when rubbed against an abrasive surface. 

What happens when someone annoys or persistently irritates you by his/her behavior?  

Can you think of someone that “grates on you”?  How about something that “grates on you”?  What behavior really grates on you?

What do you find irritating?

Is it when someone takes a cell phone call during a meeting? Have you ever had some clip their fingernails during your meeting?  And then, there’s that person who drives the speed limit!

The list could go on and on which might irritate you, so I’ll stop.

Grease for the Relationship Connections

Here’s a picture of gears at work.

Photo by WWarby

To help the machinery run smoothly and limit friction grease would be applied.

When it comes to life I suggest gratitude is the grease of life, especially when it comes to our people connections. 

Be prepared for performance improvement when gratitiude and appreciation is demonstrated.

What happens when you receive an expression of appreciation? What happens when you express your appreciation for others?

More than a holiday

Gratefulness or the giving of thanks is obviously not only about an annual holiday. 

We’re talking a character quality of successful, healthy people.

A large body of recent work has suggested that people who are more grateful have higher levels of well-being. Grateful people are happier, less depressed, less stressed, and more satisfied with their lives and social relationships. Grateful people also have higher levels of control of their environments, personal growth, purpose in life, and self acceptance. Grateful people have more positive ways of coping with the difficulties they experience in life, being more likely to seek support from other people, reinterpreted and grow from the experience, and spend more time planning how to deal with the problem.  Grateful people also have less negative coping strategies, being less likely to try to avoid the problem, deny there is a problem, blame themselves, or cope through substance use. Grateful people sleep better, and this seems to be because they think less negative and more positive thoughts just before going to sleep.

Who couldn’t use these benefits of gratitude in the face of life’s pressures?

Consider this working definition for gratefulness published by CharacterFirst!

Letting others know by my words and actions how they have benefited my life.

How hard is it, really?

The grease of gratitude is applied to our relationships with three easy steps:

1. Focus on others
2. Communicate with words and actions
3. Be specific

Go ahead, try this…

• Who is frustrating you?
• What one thing can you be grateful for regarding that person?
• What is frustrating you these days?
• Make a list of 15 things you are thankful for…

The morning of the leadership development retreat, I allowed their team 5 minutes for the “Thankful-4-U” exercise.  An interesting thing happened with those 9 leaders: the CEO requested more time for the exercise, “We haven’t got to connect with everyone.”

When we debriefed they acknowledged it was a bit awkward, but rewarding. They were encouraged, found the giving and receiving helpful, meaningful, valuable, and nice to hear.  It was so beneficial they wondered why they didn’t do it more.

So simple. So valuable. Easy on the budget, too!

Who do you want to express your gratitude to?

I’m thankful for you, my reader-friend…knowing you are out there, keeps me writing and growing.

What if you forward this to a friend?

What if you make a call or write a note or stop by their office today…?

What if you post a comment and engage in the conversation?  I’d love to hear your voice.

Perhaps you started this conversation with me last week. We continue looking at the power of these two words: ”what” and “if”.

Remember, power provides us the ability, strength, and capacity to do something; to take action.

A question is simply a request for information, when properly framed it will help us stop and explore for truth. The power of a question comes from the truthfulness of the answer. 

Photo by Celesteh

Truth Brings Freedom

What do we need to move forward? Truth, facts, and reality.

Without truth we remain stuck in fear.

Questions help us stop and think.

When we give careful thought or reconsider previous actions, events, or decisions we find the path to freedom.  Feedback is that factual, truthful answer; when embraced, it can set us free to experience even greater success. 

Reflecting on “the story” using open-ended questions provides the ability, strength and capacity to

• Change unproductive behavior(s)
• Improve performance
• Make a difference in our world.  

That’s power!

Big Picture, Assessing Risk

Asking “What if?” can give us the power to take a risk and set us on the adventure of a lifetime. Consider Pablo Picasso’s perspective on risk-taking:

I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it. 

The use of “What if?” sets us free to explore potential which usually involves some level of risk.

This nation was built by men who took risks – pioneers who were not afraid of the wilderness, business men who were not afraid of failure, scientists who were not afraid of the truth, thinkers who were not afraid of progress, dreamers who were not afraid of action.                                                                         -Brooks Atkinson

Asking “What if?” may be the self-evident application of this powerful, little question.

Reversing Procrastination, taking Action

Procrastination, you’ve heard of it, right?

It’s that inclination to postpone doing something, taking action…habitually.  Remember, power provides us the ability, strength, and capacity to do something.

So with further thought, what happens if we use “What if?” in the everyday, ordinary stuff of life, not just the adventure?  

What might happen if we ask “What if I go ahead and get this done…now?”

Perhaps the simple question that begs for an answer will provide the “power” to “do something”?

Consider Cary’s comment from last week’s blog:

I’m glad I asked myself, “What if I take a moment I don’t think I have to read Steve’s words of wisdom.  And what if, I told him how meaningful they were to me this very day?”

Thank you, Steve for some much-needed inspiration!

My reply to Cary follows…

What a great illustration. You applied asking “What if?” to the everyday, ordinary decisions of people with people journey…beyond the so-called “game changer” situations.

Thank you!

Now in light of your response (taking action) may I give you the answer to your 2 questions?

– I am humbled that you read what I write and it gives support to your day, today
– I am encouraged and determined to keep listening, writing, and passing along what I receive

Yes, your response to the possibility and opportunity has affected my life; thank you!

What might happen when you ask: “What if…” when

• inclined to hit the snooze button
• click the postpone button on that task reminder, again
• that prompt comes suggesting you reach out to another person offering positive support

Do you desire power to invite your risk-taker to show up and take action?

Do you want power to tell that procrastinator to get lost and take action?

What if . . . ?

What if you forward this to a friend?

What if you post a comment and engage in the conversation?

I’d love to hear your voice. 

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Part of the inspiration for this post came over the weekend.  With some degree of risk I’ll admit the source. Later.

What’s the value of power?

Power gives the ability, strength, and capacity to do something.

Last week, we explored how questions are powerful.  Open-ended questions are really a request for information, designed to help us stop and explore for truth. I reminded us how…

Questions help us give careful thought to reality, the facts; and when examined become a source of feedback.  Truth allows us to choose; we can change unproductive behavior, enlarge our influence (leadership), and achieve success…yes, make a difference in the world.

Reflecting on life using questions gives us power - the ability, strength and capacity to change unproductive behavior(s), improve our performance, and make a difference in our world. That’s power! 

In like fashion there are two little words that have power…when combined.

This connection came back to me as Rita and I watched the movie “Letters to Juliet”. 

I know, it is a “chick-flick”, a romantic film with a predictable, yet engaging story line. 

Yes, I enjoyed it.

The film is the story of a letter written to the fictional Juliet Montague of Shakespeare’s play. The film creates space with empty dirt roads, the architecture, food, that sidewalk café, and those cobblestone streets still to be found in Italy.  It does seem like a very romantic place. And so,

In Verona, Italy – the beautiful city where Romeo first met Juliet – there is a place where the heartbroken leave notes asking Juliet for her help. It’s there that aspiring writer Sophie finds a 50-year-old letter that will change her life forever. As she sets off on a romantic journey of the heart with the letter’s author, Claire, now a grandmother, and her handsome grandson, all three will discover that sometimes the greatest love story ever told is your own.

Come on, who couldn’t use a little romance?

In the story, the time comes when Claire reads the letter to a group which Sophie wrote; the letter that started the search for Lorenzo.  Indeed, the inspiration for this blog.

“What” and “if” are two words as non-threatening as words can be; but put them together side by side and they have the power to haunt you for the rest of your life.

What if?

What if?

I don’t know how your story ended but if it was true love back then, it is never too late. If it was true love then, why wouldn’t it be now? You need only the courage to follow your heart.

Yes, this is blog is about our personal growth. It is about your dream. It is about the decision you wait to make which postpones the possibilities and adventure or the solution or the thrill of making a difference in someone’s life…even the world.

What if?

“What if?” can haunt us or set us on an adventure and the journey of a lifetime.

How might answering this powerful little question, “What if?” change your story?

What if…

You make that call?

Write that letter?

Apply for that open position?

Forgive the offender?

Take the risk?

Start your own business?

Take that class? Teach that group?

Mentor that person, ask to be mentored?

What if you care or love?

What if you act on your plan to get out of debt?

What if you read one book a month?

What if you change your eating and exercise habits?

What if you change your thinking about…?

What if…?

Claire and Lorenzo had lived 50 years of their journey without contact when Claire ask the question: What if Lorenzo is still alive?  

What opportunity begs you to ask and answer the question, “What if?”

What do you think? Please leave your comment below, I’d love to hear from you.

Who would you forward this to?

Photo by takomabibelot

Recently, one of my clients requested coaching for her front-line employees.

Coaching is always exciting, I love it!  Most of my coaching is done with executives, managers, or business owners.  So this manager’s decision to provide coaching for her staff is a gift to them, the team, the business unit.

After exploring needs and calendars we scheduled their Employee Leadership Development session. I’m excited for them.

Later that evening while walking with my wife, Rita I shared the story. She celebrated with me.  Then, simply asked, “How does it compare to your 1on1 Executive Coaching and Next Level TEAM Coaching?”

Her open-ended question immediately caused me to stop and think.

That’s what a well-framed question does, invites us to stop and think. That’s good.

Her question sent me on a journey. Over the next couple of days my answer came. The answer brings greater clarity and focus to my practice as a certifed executive coach. 

Well-framed questions are powerful.

How do questions help?

The open-ended question is a request for information and designed to help us stop and explore for truth.

1.  Slow things Down

Questions  s l o w   t h i n g s   d o w n; do you ever need protection from knee-jerk re-actions. What might happen if you ask a question before giving away a piece of your mind?

Have you noticed how quickly you can answer a “yes/no” question? However, an open-ended question (those starting with who, what, how, when, where, or why) can interrupt and slow down an emotionally charged conversation.  That’s good.

2.  Demonstrate Respect

How do you react when being told what to do?  Come on, now, what is your typical response to being “told”?

How do you respond when “the boss” seeks your input?  Most of us feel respected when our input is sought through an open-ended quesiton.

 Yes, a well-framed, open-ended question is helpful and powerful.

3.  Create Space

Often if we are to discover truth we need space: time and place to think.  

Creating space is the disciplined use of time and place and resources for reflection on the truth found in the story.  Your story. The story…what factually happened? 

We must slow the pace to create the space required to experience personal development.  To listen to our story. 

There is a time conspiracy – a subversive plot to keep us so busy we don’t have time or a place for thinking, consideration, consistent reflection. 

Why the pursuit of truth in the story?

Truth liberates.

Truth sheds light and opens our minds to possibilities.

What happens if we run from the truth (reality/facts)?  Our growth and potential is hindered; in effect we run from future success.

What is the best predictor of future success is?

The Best Predictor of Future Success is the ability and willingness to learn and change achieved through consistent reflection on truth found in the story.          

– Steve Laswell

Questions help us give careful thought to reality…the facts, when examined, become feedback.  Truth allows us to choose; we can change unproductive behavior, enlarge our influence (leadership), and achieve success…yes, make a difference in the world.

Here are a few questions for fun, pick one and see what happens as you reflect on it…

• If purpose gives birth to the best within us, what are you birthing?
• If “raising the bar” is about the next level…where do you want to raise the bar?
• What is blocking your ability to show up well and expand your influence?
• What do you need to prioritize today in order to achieve your dream?

Questions (open-ended) can help us slow down an emotionally charge conversation, demonstrate respect, and create space to discover solutions.

Rita’s question created an additional coaching service.  That demonstrates the power of a question.

How effective are you in using questions?

How much space do you have in your daily life for reflection?

Would you please forward to ONE friend?

What do you think…comment below; I’d love to hear from you. 

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