Archive for October, 2011

Beyond the Horizon

The horizon leans forward, offering you space to place new steps of change.   – Maya Angelou*

The request has arrived.

As a leader you are invited to engage in the process of change.

Personal development is a unique gift offered all human beings. We have the potential to become stronger, more successful, more advanced…more like our Creator.

Why does it matter? Only growing people grow their influence for high impact in life; legacy. Leadership is that ability to lead, guide, direct, or influence people.

To change limiting behavior is to expand your influence with people and that’s what life is about: the business of life is people and the business of business is people.

This past week my schedule took me to Los Angeles. On the early morning flight to Dallas I enjoyed a high altitude sunrise. Notice the horizon.

Later that sameday I sat writing in my journal with a front row seat on beautiful Venice Beach, CA for this sunset. Notice the horizon.

 

That question: what’s beyond the horizon?

The horizon is that distant line where land or sea appears to meet the sky; it looks closed. When reality it is where more opportunity waits: sunrise/sunset.

The word horizon has an interesting history.

The word horizon derives from the Greek “ὁρίζων κύκλος” (horizōn kyklos), “separating circle”,[2] from the verb “ὁρίζω” (horizō), “to divide, to separate”,[3] and that from “ὅρος” (oros), “boundary, landmark”.[4]   Wikipedia

Along the journey we encounter moments where the horizon can feel like a boundary. It is that moment in the Story when we decide to move forward or not. For many, it is when that voice suggests “But you don’t know what’s beyond the horizon?”

In his book, The Laugh of the Water Nymph and Other River Stories, author Doug Ammons writes about the adventure sport of kayaking. He introduces a philosophical meaning to the river, as he writes …

I believe that moving water is the perfect expression of emotion, and somewhere in its endless moods, lie our own.  -Page 4

Describing the purpose of adventure experiences …

And if one is going to travel, the particular place you go matters less than what it leads you to explore within yourself.

One story is about kayaking the Lochsa (“lock-saw”) River located in the mountains of North Central Idaho.  The flow of the river is unregulated and in late spring, it is rated as one of the world’s best for continuous whitewater.

Video: if you have 2 minutes this video shows the action.

In Chapter One - The Horizon Line, Doug writes …

Kayaking has shown me a lot of fun, a lot of seriousness, and a simple fact: life is full of horizon lines. They come in all shapes and sizes – accidents and jobs, people, marriage, and children. Time is the current that pushes us toward the edges of what we know, usually faster than we can cope. And flowing water is the current of time made real. I know that fear comes from doubt about where those horizon lines lead. I also know that the truths of life, large and small, are what lie beyond each one. – Page 8

What do you see on the horizon?

What’s going on in your Story and how do you feel looking at the future?

Are you a bit anxious, do you believe there is something great over the horizon?

Are you ready for the “truths of life, large and small” that lie beyond the horizon?

Doug is leaning forward – not just into whitewater horizon line on the river – but as a leader. He is my client; engaging the process of change, growing his influence. Thanks Doug for the privilege.

What are you doing with the space to place new steps of change?

Please comment below.

Newly released, available to you and your team, a must have book:

THE PEOPLE PROJECT:

Your Guide to Changing Behavior and Growing Your Influence as a Leader

Order your copy today!

 

 

*Maya Angelo, American Poet, novelist, educator, dramatist, actress, historian, filmmaker, and civil rights activist; b 1928, Source: thinkexist.com

How to Control the Unproductive Behavior of Control

The closest to being in control we will ever have is in that moment that we realize we are not.   – Brian Kessler*

Photo by John Jordan

The human desire to be in control is causing untold frustration in relationships today.

Recently, my coaching conversation with one of my clients focused on the classic concept of “circle of control” vs. “circle of concern” … think, cracked egg poured into a skillet for a visual.

The yellow yolk represents that part of life we “control”. The egg white symbolizes the people or situations of “concern”.

I am not using “control” in the broader meaning represented by synonyms manage or management. That raises another question: Does management really control?

What do you really control?

Think about your world. Where do you exercise power or authority? Where are you in position to limit or restrict someone or something?

Look at your relationships; where are you really in control? Where are you trying to be in control?

Self-control

There are a few people with a high level of self-control. There are some people working on greater self-control.  While the majority need to work on self-control.

In fact, human nature presents quite a challenge to this goal of self-control. Have you noticed the inclination of Self to be selfish and actually prefers NOT to be controlled. (Need evidence? Watch childish behavior … no matter the age.)

Although, self-control is a key assignment, how much time and energy are wasted trying to control others, even “situations”.

May I ask … How much time and energy do you waste focused on situations and people in your “circle of concern” but outside your “circle of control”?

Follow the Frustration

If you are not sure how to answer that last question, answer this: How frustrated are you these days?

Frustration is that feeling of disappointment, exasperation, or weariness caused by goals being thwarted or desires unsatisfied. (Encarta Dictionary)

Frustration is an emotiinal indicator of the desire to control. When do you experience frustration? With who? Why? How are your expectations involved?

Where to Focus

Here is the paradox: as we focus on our own growth and responsibilities our “circle of influence” is expanded.

The big question: What do you want – control or influence?

Leadership happens when we quit trying to control and pursue influence.

What’s the cost?

My client’s experience is instructive about the price of an out-of-control desire to be in control; she writes …

If my focus is on these concerns, outside my actual area of control, what happens?

1. I get anxious about those uncontrollable things

2. Overload from trying to control too much

3. I experience failure because I am not really in control

4. Failure saps my strength and will to continue working

The demand plus lack of control leads to FRUSTRATION because the situation does not allow me to succeed. (emphasis added)

There you have it. The “reward” of focusing on situations outside our primary circle of control is frustration.  The solution is to narrow your focus.

How do you control that unproductive need to control?

What situation are you trying to control? Who? Why do you think you are?

How will you let go?

What will happen if you don’t?

Please comment below.

 

Newly released, available to you and your team, a must have book:

 

THE PEOPLE PROJECT:

Your Guide to Changing Behavior and Growing Your Influence as a Leader

 

Order your copy today!

 

 

*Brian Kessler, Source: thinkexist.com

Photo Credits Flickr by John Jordon

How to Move from Conflict to Solutions

Mankind must evolve – for all human conflict – a method which rejects revenge, aggression, and retaliation. The foundation of such method is love.   – Martin Luther King, Jr.*

With the expectation to “do more with less” and the bare-bone staffing of business the pressure opens the door for increased interpersonal conflict.

Time-starved and sleep-deprived, people are showing up at work fatigued creating more opportunity conflict and frustration.

How do you handle the conflict?

What can you do to move from conflict – whether a colleague, direct report, family or the driver in the next lane – to a workable solution?

Here is a short video coaching tip (less than 2 minutes) on the subject:


 

What do you think?

How does fear, conformity, or laziness show up in creating solutions?

How well are you seeing past the problem?

How well are you seeing the people?

Please comment below.

Newly released, available to you and your team, a must have book:

 

THE PEOPLE PROJECT:

Your Guide to Changing Behavior and Growing Your Influence as a Leader

Order your copy today!

 

*American Baptist Minister and Civil-Rights Leader. (1929-1968) Source: thinkexist.com

How to Seize Opportunity and Defeat Resistance

Sometimes we stare so long at a door that is closing, that we see too late, the one that is open.          – Alexander Graham Bell*

(Photo by Shootingsnow* on Flickr)

Last week I began the discussion around breakthrough success and resistance, asking: “Why the resistance?” Reminding you that …

Resistance always shows up when we step up to do something new, creative, greater … something that promises a better future.

The bottom line: resistance is committed to opposing our progress and knows where to attack with those doubt and fear-based suggestions

What opportunity is in front of you?

In my story, October has become the month of opportunity.

In October, 2007 I made the substantial decision and commitment to invest in executive coaching certification through TCU – Neeley School of Business in Fort Worth, Texas.

Yes, the catalyst for that decision was unexpected and it is true, the opportunity to make that decision was a surprise. But here’s the key: the event created the need to re-consider my Story, see a new opportunity, and then, overcome pockets of resistance along the way.

Yes, like countless others, I had to determine my response and take action or be stuck.  Thankfully, I received grace, tapped into my faith, and found freedom to sharpen pursuit of my purpose and passion: the development of people.

What is your story, your opportunity?

What got you here won’t get you there!

Four years later, I face the reality that what got me here won’t get me there.

No matter how good “here” is a better “there” is waiting for all of us.

While I celebrate the success of Next Level Executive Coaching, LLC I am acknowledging this principle: what got me here will not get me to my next level.

To help me get “there” I am investing in my development, including:

  • A five-week, Speak to Sell Boot Camp with Lisa Sasevich
  • Engaged John Eggen to mentor me in his Publishing and Marketing Program
  • Working with Kim Castle and Vito Montone and their BrandU program for building my business
  • Attending the two-day Coaching in Leadership and Healthcare Conference presented by McLean Hospital and Harvard Medical School’s Department of Continuing Education in Boston

Not only do I “coach” around this principle, I am committed to it. I know what got me here will not get me to my next level.

How do we defeat those pockets of resistance?

I shared my story around the resistance I experienced making the decision to pursue the author mentoring program. Rest assured the opportunities of October have been met with multiple pockets of opposition, internal and external, real and imagined.

Knowing the opposition, the resistance, the enemy is out there, we must be alert. Prompt, decisive action is required.

Here are the tactics I’m currently using to defeat the resistance:

  1. Remember the Mission – keep focused on why it matters
  2. Take Courage – remember previous breakthroughs for encouragement
  3. Create Space – this is time to take care of yourself physically, mentally, spiritually; guard the harmony of your life
  4. Disciplined Thinking being mindful of the messaging in the head
  5. Tapping Resources – our support system is vital, especially the people who believe
  6. Manage Well – leverage those tools to manage time and energy

Courage Required

The Resistance uses intimidation to push against achievement. The ancient strategy involves sowing seeds of doubt to encourage fear.

Courage is necessary to push through the opposition and claim the opportunity.

It’s October, filled with opportunity. I’ll see you at the next level!

How do you handle the Resistance?

Where are you stuck today because of the Resistance creating doubt or fear?

Please comment below.

Newly released, available to you and your team, a must have book:

 

THE PEOPLE PROJECT:

Your Guide to Changing Behavior and Growing Your Influence as a Leader

 

Order your copy today!

 

 

*Alexander Graham Bell, Scottish born American Inventor and Educator. (1847-1922) Source: thinkexist.com

Photo by Shootingsnow