“Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is to not stop questioning.” ― Albert Einstein

How are you moving forward in your life as a leader? Yes, as a person with influence and relationships and responsibilities?

In any journey, we find Here and There realities. It’s pretty simple really. I am here and I want to be there, there is better than here.

Photo by chokola on flickr

What is difficult, especially for busy people, is gaining a depth of understanding about where they are and what it will take to move forward. This can be true about one’s career, relationships, finances, health, or spirituality.

Last week I asked the question: Where do you need alignment?

When you understand the pressure of time and our inclination to drift we need opportunities to re-align. Leap Year is that “extra day” for cosmic concerns; every four years is the solution.

But the real issue is not cosmic in nature, it is personal.

Future success requires listening to your story for truth; then you can close the gaps between what you believe to be reality and reality; between your behavior and your desired outcome as a leader.

• Where do you need to correct the drift in your story?
• What will it take to align your story with reality?
• When do you have time and place for reflection?

Three Powerful Little Questions

If success, personal or business, matters to you here are three simple questions to give thought to. While simple, they may require some thought. As Albert Einstein said, “It is not that I’m so smart. But I stay with the questions much longer.” ― Albert Einstein

Perhaps you’ll see that the littleness of these three questions requires a large amount of thought … here they are:

1.   What got you here?

2.   Where is there?

3.   How will you get there?

Here can refer to many things in your Story. What got you here in your work, relationships, behaviors, finances, thinking, performance, physically, emotionally?

While here may in fact be celebrated, what’s next is better, yet. What’s your destiny? What other contribution do want to make? How do you want to show up? How much influence do you want in life? What do you want for that relationship? What performance level do you aspire to?

How is intentionality, what process must be engaged, what plan devised, what path will you follow to get There?

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Your Guide to Changing Behavior and Growing Your Influence as a Leader

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Photo Credit   by chokola on flikr

“After living with their dysfunctional behavior for so many years (a sunk cost if ever there was one), people become invested in defending their dysfunctions rather than changing them.” — Marshall Goldsmith

Last week I pointed out that future success is not always about starting something new. The question – What do you want now? – is repeated daily, season by season, with each surprise and every achievement.

Photo by Qfamily on flickr

What do you want?

If you want to use last week’s blog as a reflective exercise, go here.

“What do you want?” requires an understanding that:

What got you “Here” will not get you “There”

While “Here” is to be celebrated, “There” is greater still

To get “There” something must end or I’ll be stuck “Here”

Another dimension to be considered that could limit moving forward is success. Thank you, Will Cook, for pointing this out with your comment last week.

With your purpose, mission, and vision in mind regarding your future (or that of your business) take it step further:

• What will have to come to an end?
• What will you need to stop doing to get “there”?

Moving forward requires the ending of something holding us back.

How do you feel about change?

A rather effective leader in the fight for equal rights for everyone was King Whitney, Jr., he writes:

Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better.

Change seems to be one of those things people tend to love or hate.

Why is that? It could be our response depends

• On the source of the suggested change — “Their” idea vs. “My” idea or “Our” idea
• On how much we care about whatever is being “left behind”
• Our thinking about change

What will have to come to an end?

Asked another way, what one thing would you like to change? Where would change in your life bring freedom, peace, joy, success, influence, results?

Go ahead; name it – the more precise the better.

Dig a little deeper

As you think about a specific change you are facing, which response best describes what you feel? Are you …

• Fearful

What is creating this fear within you about making that specific change?

• Hopeful

How does the thought of making that change encourage you?

• Confident

What gives you faith to believe the best is yet to be, once you make the change?

The change I’m asking you to think about is within your authority to bring about; it is your life, our business.

How will making the change release you to succeed and grow your influence?

How do you move from “Here” to “There”?

Here are four steps associated with The Journey of Change.

Desire. This is more than a simple wish; it is a longing, craving, or yearning. (Think chocolate or sleep after a long drive).

Desire is where it begins.

What if you lack the desire to make a change? Prepare yourself for desperation. Once desperation (pain) exceeds your resistance or your pain tolerance you will want to move forward … lay aside something “old” for something “new.”

Are you desperate? Can you imagine the consequences if you don’t make this change? In other words, what will it cost you if you don’t?

Desire fueled by desperation becomes enhanced with understanding.

Understanding means you comprehend the benefits of something, such as making a change. Desire increases with understanding. What will you gain when you make this change?

Desire, developed by desperation and understanding creates an action-orientation; which is

Discipline. What comes to your mind with the word “discipline”? Discipline is about “doing” … it is having a systematic method to move forward. Desire moves us to action; discipline provides a path to follow.

Often what is needed is commitment; consistent action will achieve the desired outcome or something better.

What must you do to reach your goal? What action step is so doable it is laughable; meaning your response is to say: “I can do that!”

Desire leads to doing and requires…

Determination. Significant change in behavior must be supported. Opposition is part of the journey. Old habits, old ways of thinking, comfort zones, fears, doubt, and natural resistance rise up to defeat many on The Journey of Change. Your commitment, with clarity on why will support the resolve to see it through.

Desire applied to discipline with determination will eventually become …

Delight. It’s a great day when the change is completed, the dreaded “what if?” was another ridiculous fear and you are moving forward.

Change, whether individual or organizational, starts with desire. Desire moves us into action; determination keeps us engaged until the new behavior or structure change or whatever it is becomes the successful, new reality…and that is a fine day.

Positive change brings its own reward. The Journey of Change moves us from fear and resistance to accomplishment and delight including the positive rewards of growth!

Your Personal Reflection

• Where are you on the Journey of Change?
• Which do you need? Desire, discipline, or determination?
• What change have you made in the past that brings you delight today?

Like this article? Who could you forward it to? Your Tweet will be appreciated; and I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Pick up your copy of my new book:

THE PEOPLE PROJECT:

Your Guide to Changing Behavior and Growing Your Influence as a Leader

Order your copy today!

Quote Source: Leadership Now

Without the ability to end things, people stay stuck, never becoming who they are meant to be, never accomplishing all that their talents and abilities should afford them.  ― Henry Cloud

Photo by ncanup on flickr

When coaching or speaking about future success I often refer to “Here” and “There”. Part of my message is this simple reminder: what got you “Here” won’t get you “There”.

My understanding of this principle has continued to grow. Today, it is expanded to these three statements:

What got you “Here” will not get you “There”.

While “Here” is to be celebrated, “There” is greater still.

To get “There” something must end or you’ll be stuck “Here”.

What’s your story?

Think of an area where you are successful. It could be a relationship, your family or marriage, your health or fitness; financial, your career or business growth…your leadership development or spiritual growth.

What’s your response?

Today, I celebrate …      >>> name your accomplishment <<<

With this in mind, reflect on these questions:

• How did I get “Here”, what did I do to achieve this?
• What skills did I develop? Training? Change? Sacrifice? Education?
• Who helped me get “Here”?
• When did I stop to celebrate?
• Or when will I celebrate my accomplishment?

What do you want now? 

This reflective exercise will require you to create some space to think.

When you think of “There”, what does that sound like? What does your next level look like?

Now, using present tense language, write a narrative describing “There”. It can be a week, month or five years from today; …it’s your story!

Give careful thought to these two questions:

• What will have to come to an end?
• What will you need to stop doing to get “there”?

The ancient author writes in Ecclesiastes about the natural ending of one thing to begin another:

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. (NIV)

Sometimes, moving forward requires we end something that has us stuck.

What do you need to end to move forward?

Like this article? Who could you forward it to? Your Tweet will be appreciated; and I’d love to hear your thoughts.

Pick up your copy of my new book:

THE PEOPLE PROJECT:

Your Guide to Changing Behavior and Growing Your Influence as a Leader

Order your copy today!

Photo credit ncanup

Excellence is never an accident. It is always the result of high intention, sincere effort, and intelligent execution; it represents the wise choice of many alternatives – choice, not chance, determines your destiny.    ― Aristotle

Photo by blue2likeyou on flickr

There is a reason why we don’t achieve resolutions with the New Year.

There is a reason why new initiatives fail in business.

There is a reason why we are stuck with behaviors that limit our personal lives.

Are you hallucinating? When something is imagined, but it’s not really present or actually occurring, we say the person is hallucinating. While few deal with the psychiatric disorder or the drug induced variety … many have a false sense of reality – an illusion - and remain stuck with poor performance.

Recently I was challenged by something Peter Bregman wrote on the Harvard Business Review Blog Network. Here are four questions to help you get “it” done. Answer these questions and you know the secret to supporting the change you desire in your life.

First, what is your desired outcome?

Where are you stuck – physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually? Or what new discipline do you want to initiate? Or what project do you want to complete? Specifically identify what you want to accomplish.

Second, how clearly focused are you?

Why do you want to do make this change? What benefit(s) will you reap when you are consistently engaged in the new discipline … or once you complete that project?

How will you do it? What skills or resources do you need? Do you know “how to” to move forward?

Third, where is the resistance?

What do you hear in your head that sabotages your effort? We could call them “excuses”; what does that internal voice, “the resistance” say to hinder your action?

The secret to “unstuck”

For the sake of illustration - let’s say you are ready to begin exercising.

1. WHY do you want to exercise? What are the benefits you desire?
2. HOW will you exercise?  Do know how to exercise in order to achieve your desired outcome; if not who can help you?

Here’s the point:

When it comes to execution, it is rarely a matter of motivation (why) or skill (how to). Usually it comes down to no plan (the when and where) and no accountability (who) further cluttered by the resistance in our head.

What is “the resistance” inside your head whisper when it comes time to follow through?

It is really about follow through and the need to shut-up the irrational voice in our head; not a lack of motivation.

What is your plan?

As you shut the voices and old thinking it is time to create your plan by asking:

1. When will I exercise?
2. Where will exercise?
3. Who will I be accountable to?

Staying with the illustration my plan which requires follow through:

On M/W/F/S – I will walk with Rita, at 6:00 p.m. for 20 minutes in our neighborhood.

It is Thomas A. Edison who noted,

Vision without execution is hallucination.

When feeling stuck, check your why and how, but just as important, create your plan and follow through. Otherwise, you may be hallucinating.

What do you think? I would enjoy reading your comments below.

By the way, who could you forward this to?

Finding this article helpful, would you make a moment to Tweet to your followers?

Newly released, available to you and your team; a great read for team discussions:

THE PEOPLE PROJECT:

Your Guide to Changing Behavior and Growing Your Influence as a Leader

Order your copy today!

Some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge.   ― Eckhart Tolle

Time and space – time to be alone, space to move about – these may well become the great scarcities of tomorrow.  – Edwin Way Teale

Eight business leaders are in the room as I coach and explore with them The Best Predictor of Future Success… yes,

The ability and willingness

to learn and change,

achieved through

consistent reflection

on truth found in the Story.

As I ask “What stands out to you?” a successful businessman discusses the phrase: “consistent reflection” and the challenge of the discipline.

Space is the breath of life

Consistent reflection requires space.

Consistent reflection is a discipline - a systematic method used to advance something - in this case, personal growth.

These days I find myself inviting people to breathe. It is amazing how few of us practice deep breathing. The intensity of life is confirmed by how we “take breaths”. I know – who has time for deep breathing?

In support of future success it is essential to create space for consistent reflection. I know - who has time to be still and think?

Just as there are significant benefits from diaphragmatic breathing such as relaxation and stress relief, there is tremendous benefit from consistent reflection – freedom to grow as a human being.

How to Create Space

Look at the word “space” to discover the first secret:

To create space you must take control of the pace of life.

Space is more than the region beyond the Earth’s atmosphere. From a growth perspective , space is having enough room to accommodate something. It can be a period of time or an area set apart for a specific use; time and place.

What if you could have less unnecessary stress, more peace, and greater freedom? Sound good? You can and here’s how: slow down.  Create space for consistent reflection.

This is where we listen for truth in the story delivered as feedback, experience, success, or failure.

“Truth” involves the facts of the story, not assumptions; truth is reality, not your opinion or just “your reality” … to be truth it must include the other person’s perspective, too.

To create space you must take control of the PACE of life.

Breathe.

Let’s try that again, slowly now … you’ve got time.

Created Space is the disciplined use of time, place, and resources to reflect on the truth in the story and to bring truth to your story.

No acceleration required.

Life requires no acceleration; our world is taking care of that.

In 1970 Alvin Toffler wrote his bestselling book Future Shock; back when the pace of life was different, if not slower. While he wrote of information overload it was first mentioned in 1964 by Bertram Gross in The Managing of Organizations.

According to Wikipedia, Toffler uses “information overload”

…to refer to the difficulty a person can have understanding an issue and making decisions that can be caused by the presence of too much information.

Sensory overload was thought to cause disorientation and lack of responsiveness. Toffler posited information overload as having the same sorts of effects, but on the higher cognitive functions… (Emphasis added)

How does this affect our performance and relationships?

What happens to our growth journey when the pace of life is combined with sensory/information overload? We exhibit self-limiting behavior that produces poor performance and limits our influence. We are unable to make “the reasonably correct assessments on which rational behavior is dependent.” (Wikipedia)

The alternative to “rational” behavior is “irrational”. How we show up lacks reason or logical thought. What I’m doing to my relationship or career or health doesn’t make sense. We must create space to consistently reflect on behavior patterns; unproductive behavior means we are “stuck”.

Life does not require acceleration.

The second secret of Created Space; it…

Accelerates behavior change which leads to high performance

When space and time are invested in consistent reflection, listening for truth in your Story, the reward is freedom. Only truth liberates us from being stuck with self-limiting behavior.

Creating space allows us to see what living frantic lives hides.

When would be convenient?

When it comes getting things done we set appointments, am I right? Whether a business lunch, dentist appointment, a client meeting, the big game, vacation, even the oil change; why not time to reflect?

When it matters, put it on the calendar.

Time and space – time to be alone, space to move about – how scarce are they in your world? How will take control of the pace of life to create space?

What behavior change will address to improve your performance?

How well are you creating space so you can write your story?

Please forward or Tweet if you like this article … love to hear your comment below.

Newly released, available to you and your team, a must have book:

THE PEOPLE PROJECT:

Your Guide to Changing Behavior and Growing Your Influence as a Leader

Order your copy today!