What “people problems” do you face? How are they impacting your team, performance, and career? When will you address them to move forward as a leader?
—
Steve Laswell, CSC The People Developer
Q: How hard was it to re-focus with such a short time off the medal podium and the next event?
A: I had about five coaches on my rear in the warm-down pool making me re-focus so I didn't have a choice.
Pro-active: An emerging leader is on your radar, you don't want to lose them to the competition while "that position" opens up, you need to send culture message: "We invest in our leaders", and/or you know what got them here won't get them there... some "tweaking" of business behavior is in order
Incentive: Your culture is about the people; this year a few select leaders will not only receive a "job well done" merit raise but the career-impacting investment of a coaching engagement a individualized road map to even greater success.
Re-active: A leader's business behavior is hurting them and costing you with undesired turnover, disengaged direct reports, HR complaints, office conflict, low productivity; it has become a corrective measure you hope to keep the employee.
"People change when they hurt enough that they have to; learn enough that they want to, and receive enough that they are able to."
~ John Maxwell
"If you are selected for coaching, the attitude, as they say, is gratitude.... You have after all, just been handed a customized map of the road to success. And fortunate you are ... in the employ that values you despite your flaws and actually — mirable dictum — wants to invest in you."
Without the ability to end things, people stay stuck, never becoming who they are meant to be, never accomplishing all that their talents and abilities should afford them. ― Henry Cloud
Photo by ncanup on flickr
When coaching or speaking about future success I often refer to “Here” and “There”. Part of my message is this simple reminder: what got you “Here” won’t get you “There”.
My understanding of this principle has continued to grow. Today, it is expanded to these three statements:
What got you “Here” will not get you “There”.
While “Here” is to be celebrated, “There” is greater still.
To get “There” something must end or you’ll be stuck “Here”.
What’s your story?
Think of an area where you are successful. It could be a relationship, your family or marriage, your health or fitness; financial, your career or business growth…your leadership development or spiritual growth.
What’s your response?
Today, I celebrate … >>> name your accomplishment <<<
With this in mind, reflect on these questions:
How did I get “Here”, what did I do to achieve this?
What skills did I develop? Training? Change? Sacrifice? Education?
Who helped me get “Here”?
When did I stop to celebrate?
Or when will I celebrate my accomplishment?
What do you want now?
This reflective exercise will require you to create some space to think.
When you think of “There”, what does that sound like? What does your next level look like?
Now, using present tense language, write a narrative describing “There”. It can be a week, month or five years from today; …it’s your story!
Give careful thought to these two questions:
What will have to come to an end?
What will you need to stop doing to get “there”?
The ancient author writes in Ecclesiastes about the natural ending of one thing to begin another:
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace. (NIV)
Sometimes, moving forward requires we end something that has us stuck.
What do you need to end to move forward?
Like this article? Who could you forward it to? Your Tweet will be appreciated; and I’d love to hear your thoughts.
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THE PEOPLE PROJECT:
Your Guide to Changing Behavior and Growing Your Influence as a Leader
Excellence is never an accident. It is always the result of high intention, sincere effort, and intelligent execution; it represents the wise choice of many alternatives – choice, not chance, determines your destiny. ― Aristotle
Photo by blue2likeyou on flickr
There is a reason why we don’t achieve resolutions with the New Year.
There is a reason why new initiatives fail in business.
There is a reason why we are stuck with behaviors that limit our personal lives.
Are you hallucinating? When something is imagined, but it’s not really present or actually occurring, we say the person is hallucinating. While few deal with the psychiatric disorder or the drug induced variety … many have a false sense of reality – an illusion - and remain stuck with poor performance.
Recently I was challenged by something Peter Bregman wrote on the Harvard Business Review Blog Network. Here are four questions to help you get “it” done. Answer these questions and you know the secret to supporting the change you desire in your life.
First, what is your desired outcome?
Where are you stuck – physically, mentally, emotionally, or spiritually? Or what new discipline do you want to initiate? Or what project do you want to complete? Specifically identify what you want to accomplish.
Second, how clearly focused are you?
Why do you want to do make this change? What benefit(s) will you reap when you are consistently engaged in the new discipline … or once you complete that project?
How will you do it? What skills or resources do you need? Do you know “how to” to move forward?
Third, where is the resistance?
What do you hear in your head that sabotages your effort? We could call them “excuses”; what does that internal voice, “the resistance” say to hinder your action?
The secret to “unstuck”
For the sake of illustration - let’s say you are ready to begin exercising.
WHY do you want to exercise? What are the benefits you desire?
HOW will you exercise? Do know how to exercise in order to achieve your desired outcome; if not who can help you?
Here’s the point:
When it comes to execution, it is rarely a matter of motivation (why) or skill (how to). Usually it comes down to no plan (the when and where) and no accountability (who) further cluttered by the resistance in our head.
What is “the resistance” inside your head whisper when it comes time to follow through?
It is really about follow through and the need to shut-up the irrational voice in our head; not a lack of motivation.
What is your plan?
As you shut the voices and old thinking it is time to create your plan by asking:
When will I exercise?
Where will exercise?
Who will I be accountable to?
Staying with the illustration my plan which requires follow through:
On M/W/F/S – I will walk with Rita, at 6:00 p.m. for 20 minutes in our neighborhood.
Grief is perhaps an unknown territory for you. You might feel both helpless and hopeless without a sense of a “map” for the journey. Confusion is the hallmark of a transition. To rebuild both your inner and outer world is a major project. - Anne Grant*
Photo by Steve Laswell - Trinity Church Parish House in Boston
My most recent “major project”, to use Anne Grant’s phrase, began on a Friday afternoon August 31, 2007. It was Labor Day weekend so our offices at the radio station were pretty well vacated.
As Station Manager of Spirit 102.3 I had scheduled an appointment with our VP/Market Manager to discuss a few programming matters … or so I thought.
Within the first couple of minutes I knew something was up, I just didn’t know what. Instead of discussing my agenda, the conversation quickly turned to the 2008 Budget. Corporate wanted substantial cuts; my future became the real agenda; my position was being eliminated.
To say I was in shock is no exaggeration and aptly illustrated by my question: “Are you telling me I’m not coming back on Monday?”
Indeed, I would not return on Monday.
I would go down the hall and pack my office and call Rita for a ride home; “my” company car was a company car.
My exit would be without the opportunity to say farewell to my team and people I truly cared about. No punch, no cookies, no farewell party for the “people person”.
Shock and awe does not overstate my emotional response.
Yes, I appreciated the assurance given that it was not a performance issue.
Yes, I appreciated the helpful severance package.
Still, I was treated like a piece of machinery, not a piece of humanity.
Last Wednesday was the Fourth Anniversary of that Friday-afternoon, end of this chapter, broadcast radio Story; that fast-track ended.
While reflecting on this part of my Story, I identified 4 steps in my response to that sudden jolt. Perhaps you can identify with my “shock-n-awe” chapter along your journey … here is what I did:
1. Breathe
When something surprising and upsetting comes, we experience shock; distress, numbness, or fear are indeed normal as the new reality sets in: I’m not coming back on Monday!
Oxygen is a grace gift from our Creator, it not only keeps us alive physically, it helps create space so we can think and helps quiet our heart and mind … a good thing for such times.
Breathe, don’t panic, “It’s just business.”
2. Forgive
Forgiveness is about freedom, our freedom.
Intellectually, I knew it was “just business” but emotionally it felt personal. So this is where a 10 year relationship brings us? This is how we will write the ending chapter of our Story?
Forgiveness is required for the other truth: it is more than “just business”.
How about some respect for the human being? No opportunity given to connect with my colleagues, direct reports, and friends; yes, friends. And, what about my sacrifices for the company?
While we could agree to disagree on the business decision, how I was “handled” was personally painful. Only forgiveness would keep from that self-limiting box and by God’s grace I escaped.
3. Create Space
Given the shock of this event, I was not prepared to make any quick decisions. As reality settled in, September was declared a sabbatical.
Sabbaticals are those designated times away from work usually for research, study, or travel and often with pay; that’s what I needed and was fortunate enough to have.
Within a matter of days, a lot of life was on the my calendar:
my 53rd birthday on September 4
our sixth grandchild, Max, was born on September 5th and required a few days in the NICU
my wife Rita’s birthday, September 7
our 31st Wedding Anniversary, September 12
Thinking of September as a sabbatical released me to set October 1 as the date I would start working on “What now?” … which is what I did.
Creating space is critical to our ability to experience personal growth and continued success along the journey. It is vital to our ability to find our way and gain perspective after a sudden jolt.
4. Connect with others
I’ll never forget Lucy’s call. She was a consultant for our company and called as soon as she learned of the decision. She simply said “I believe in you.” Thank you, Lucy and others who called over the days ahead.
(Note to self: when inclined to ignore news of someone’s jolt, move toward the person, it will never be forgotten and your call will make a difference.)
It’s not what we say; it’s that we care enough to call that matters.
These four steps – combined with my faith in God and my commitment to journal – helped me move forward into a life-changing transition bringing me to this spacious place I now enjoy as an executive coach.
What is your “sudden jolt” story?
How do you relate to these 4 steps?
What did you do to get through your “shock and awe” moment?
Please comment below.
*Anne Grant was a Scottish Poet; 1755-1838
Newly released, available to you and your team, a must have book:
THE PEOPLE PROJECT:
Your Guide to Changing Behavior and Growing Your Influence as a Leader
Atom Ant is a cartoon figure and superhero created by Hanna-Barbera back in 1965. Yes, I do remember watching it. If you have never heard of Atom Ant or want a 44 second flashback here is the intro video clip for Atom Ant.
What can Atom Ant teach us?
No doubt children ran around the neighborhood inspired by Atom Ant; okay, perhaps just the boys did.
For more background, The Cartoon Scrapbook will help fill you in on the story. (Remember, this was in 1965…before Jack Bauer of “24” fame.)
Atom Ant possessed super strength and the ability to fly and was no ordinary insect. When law enforcement agencies faced a problem they couldn’t handle themselves, they turned to Atom Ant for help.
Atom Ant’s secret headquarters…was located in a private ant hill. Deep in his underground laboratory, Atom Ant was normally lifting weights or reading Atom Ant comics between missions.
He picked up distress signals with his antennae, and if need be communicated by telephone or video screen with the law enforcement agency in need of his help.
With a cry of “Up and at ’em, Atom Ant!” and much gusto, he then zoomed off to save the day. No problem was too big for Atom Ant, and he overcame every challenge he faced with relative ease.
Sparing no expense, I’ve transcribed the powerful script used to draw us to our black and white Zenith televsion…
Up and at ‘em, it’s Atom Ant!
His strength, his might, his speed, his fight;
he’s Atom Ant, that tiny ant and his atomic power
has what it takes and always makes the vilest villain coward.
He’s rough, he’s tough, and bad guys yell “Enough!”
when he is “Up and at ‘em, Atom Ant”.
Really, an ant as our mentor?
There is an ancient proverb that suggests we observe nature.
Go to the ant, you sluggard; consider its ways and be wise! It has no commander, no overseer or ruler, yet, it stores its provisions in summer and gathers its food at harvest.
What about its ways will make us wise? What can this mentor teach us about success?
Wisdom is a valuable asset and our reward. Wisdom allows us to make sensible decisions and use good judgment tapping into our personal knowledge and experience.
Here’s my working definition, wisdom isthe ability to look at life from a different perspective, usually a higher view.
The promise is such wisdom if we consider the ant’s ways.
Did you notice who this ancient proverb is addressed to?
“Who you calling a sluggard?” (Spoken with a ”street attitude”…)
Look, I’m not a lazy person, I’m a hard worker! Who you calling a sluggard?! Right?
Stay with me.
According to the Online Etymology Dictionary the word sluggard “…comes from from M.E. sluggi ‘sluggish, indolent’ probably from a Scandinavian word.”
As we dig a little deeper…Webster defines indolent: “averse to activity, effort, or movement; habitually lazy causing little or no pain”. Hmmm, causing little or no pain; interesting.
Opposition to change (personal growth) stands steady until our painpushesus to break through the wall of resistance.
If your pain tolerance is high it will take more pain to jolt you into action. In other words, a high pain tolerance hinders our ability and willingness to learn and grow as people.
No pain, no change. No change, no gain.
If we are tempted to choose a path that avoids activity or effort because it may cause pain it’s time to go watch the ant and get a new point of view.
Have you watched an ant lately?
The ant is highly focused. It carries ONE THING at a time…little by little until the job is done!
The ant is prudent. It “stores its provisions in summer and gathers its food at harvest.”
The ant is self-disciplined, “it has no commander, no overseer or ruler.”
This mentor is focused, prudent, and self-disciplined and enjoys amazing success!
What ONE Thing?
Sometimes we need help getting unstuck. The change or challenge appears so large we end up doing nothing. Or we think we have to do something big and our brain resists…we do nothing.
At the end of a coaching session I often ask my client: “What is one thing you can do that is so doable it’s laughable, but it will move you toward your goal?”
What’s ONE thing you can do today to get UNstuck?
Go to the ant and consider its way; receive the gift of wisdom. Then make sensible decisions, use good judgment, and take action…before you know it something significant happens. ONE step, ONE small action, ONE thing so doable its laughable…but its ACTION.
Up and at ‘em, Atom Ant!
What if you forward this to a friend? What if you post a comment?
Perhaps you started this conversation with me last week. We continue looking at the power of these two words: ”what” and “if”.
Remember, powerprovides us the ability, strength, and capacity todo something; to take action.
A question is simply a request for information, when properly framed it will help us stop and explore for truth. The power of a question comes from the truthfulness of the answer.
Photo by Celesteh
Truth Brings Freedom
What do we need to move forward? Truth, facts, and reality.
Without truth we remain stuck in fear.
Questions help us stop and think.
When we give careful thought or reconsider previous actions, events, or decisions we find the path to freedom. Feedback is that factual, truthful answer; when embraced, it can set us free to experience even greater success.
Reflecting on “the story” using open-ended questions provides the ability, strength and capacity to
Change unproductive behavior(s)
Improve performance
Make a difference in our world.
That’s power!
Big Picture, Assessing Risk
Asking “What if?” can give us the power to take a risk and set us on the adventure of a lifetime. Consider Pablo Picasso’s perspective on risk-taking:
I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it.
The use of “What if?” sets us free to explore potential which usually involves some level of risk.
This nation was built by men who took risks – pioneers who were not afraid of the wilderness, business men who were not afraid of failure, scientists who were not afraid of the truth, thinkers who were not afraid of progress, dreamers who were not afraid of action. -Brooks Atkinson
Asking “What if?” may be the self-evident application of this powerful, little question.
Reversing Procrastination, taking Action
Procrastination, you’ve heard of it, right?
It’s that inclination to postpone doing something, taking action…habitually. Remember, powerprovides us the ability, strength, and capacity todo something.
So with further thought, what happens if we use “What if?” in the everyday, ordinary stuff of life, not just the adventure?
What might happen if we ask “What if I go ahead and get this done…now?”
Perhaps the simple question that begs for an answer will provide the “power” to “do something”?
Consider Cary’s comment from last week’s blog:
I’m glad I asked myself, “What if I take a moment I don’t think I have to read Steve’s words of wisdom. And what if, I told him how meaningful they were to me this very day?”
Thank you, Steve for some much-needed inspiration!
My reply to Cary follows…
What a great illustration. You applied asking “What if?” to the everyday, ordinary decisions of people with people journey…beyond the so-called “game changer” situations.
Thank you!
Now in light of your response (taking action) may I give you the answer to your 2 questions?
– I am humbled that you read what I write and it gives support to your day, today
– I am encouraged and determined to keep listening, writing, and passing along what I receive
Yes, your response to the possibility and opportunity has affected my life; thank you!
What might happen when you ask: “What if…” when
inclined to hit the snooze button
click the postpone button on that task reminder, again
that prompt comes suggesting you reach out to another person offering positive support
Do you desire power to invite your risk-taker to show up and take action?
Do you want power to tell that procrastinator to get lost and take action?
What if . . . ?
What if you forward this to a friend?
What if you post a comment and engage in the conversation?
