You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself.    -Jim Rohn

The role of Story in individual growth and leadership development is fascinating, powerful, and foundational to personal success. The invitation of Story is to listen, learn, and lead; the reward is accelerated growth.

Not only are we given the authority and power to edit our Story, it is in fact, our responsibility.

Last week, my journey highlighted the connection between personal responsibility and success. For some time, I’ve been working on my soon-to-be-published book – THE PEOPLE PROJECT: Your Guide to Personal Development and Growing Your Influence.

My copy editor, LeAnn, has the manuscript 99% complete; Jim Stovall wrote a great Foreword and cover designs are ready to choose from.

What happened Wednesday? The resistance; you know, opposition.

Finally, in a note to LeAnn I owned it, “I’m stuck.”  I listed the things paralyzing my progress. Desperation exceeded my fear of making a wrong decision and something wonderful happened; I took responsibility AND action.

Giving thought to “What’s next?” combined with the act of writing it down freed me to take action; the strangle hold of fear was broken. 

Giving thought to “What if?” allowed me to see the silliness of my procrastination which is driven by a lingering perfectionism (yes, I’m a recovering perfectionist). The reality (truth) exposed my deceptive thinking and set me free.  Within 30 minutes I pulled together what LeAnn needed to finish her part of the back cover and sent it off to California.  Up and at ‘em, Atom Ant!

Now, my book is 95% complete.

Have you experienced how the suffocating effect of the resistance?  Listening to the story helped me hear the truth (facts/reality).  To illustrate…two simple bit so truth from my story were:

• Reality Check #1: Cover Design…most likely any of the designs will work. 
• Reality Check #2: How I secure my book’s ISDN number really doesn’t matter that much; just do it!

Listening to Story for truth allowed me to “learn”; freedom came and I stepped up to lead the project; to edit the story. The action moved me toward successful completion of my goal: publish my book.  

Simple, Just Not Easy, Accepting Responsibility

There’s no “secret” here, but maybe this will help you or someone you know experience personal success by accepting responsibility. Think of a traffic light: yellow, red, green.

1.  SLOW DOWN (yellow light) pay attention to the indicators, all rooted in self-deception.

Blaming – Yes, attributing responsibility to someone else

Complaining – Unproductive expressions of unhappiness with a situation

Excuse-making – Creating an invalid reason to avoid something

Victim-mentality – Hiding as helpless in this situation

 Once we notice these warning signals, what then?    

2.  STOP (red light) as you catch yourself thinking or saying words that are blaming, complaining, excuse-making, or victim-am-I oriented, stop.

               Stop and breathe. Yes, the amazing grace gift of a cleansing breath

                Think, ask questions such as

                                What really happened?

                                Who am I blaming for this situation? Why?

                                Why am I complaining…really?

                                How am I making an excuse for my role in this…?

                                What effect is “feeling helpless” having on me right now?

                Open up to other viewpoints; How can I edit the Story?

                Probe for the truth in the Story: What did I expect? 

To stay at the intersection of life’s journey now it’s time to GO. 

3.  GO (green light) own your story.               

                Edit your response and change the outcome

                Accept responsibility and use your authority to act

                Focus on the desired outcome and focus on others in the story

                Create your preferred future 

When we accept responsibility, creation can happen. When we edit our Story we create stronger relationships and responses which will lead to future success.

Everyone has a story.

Every day we add to our story.

Today, you will influence someone’s story.

Our narratives intersect, the story develops; accepting responsibility, we write the Story.

Where do you need to accept responsibility?

What if?

Please share your comments below.

You never know when you’re making a memory. 

                                                                                                    – Rickie Lee Jones

Picture Credit:  Darren Livingston 

Have you been down “memory lane” lately? 

This past weekend provided me a lot of opportunity to remember. 

Memory is vital to personal growth … memory is our ability to retain information or knowledge from past events or experiences; that capacity to recollect and retrieve information. 

Last Friday, Rita and I returned to my hometown of Neodesha, Kansas.  (Don’t worry, very few have heard of Neodesha.) 

Some things have changed: the grade school and high school I attended have been replaced; there’s a new $2.1 million dollar swimming pool and a new ball park covers the old public swimming pool. There are vacant lots where small frame houses once stood; demolished after the last flood or just because it was time.

By mid-afternoon we loaded up to explore familiar stories and paths…

…the Mill Creek Street Bridge, where my friend Rick Elkins and I slid into the icy cold river when the ice gave way

…North on 8^th Street past the brick-lined ditch, the scene where I was thrown from a horse; after a trip to emergency room and no broken bones, I came out with a “Zorro” mark on my left arm, then the  

…the neighborhoods where we played and rode our bikes, back in the day when we were free to explore and roam.  

What an entertaining excursion down memory lane.  

My parents, James and Vivian Laswell, live in what was once my grandparent’s home.  My dad’s birthday is March 26; we were able to convince him to go out for dinner to celebrate #82. Dad believes a home cooked meal is the best meal AND the best value!   

Yes, the trip provided me plenty of evidence, time is slipping away.

The next day we headed north for Wichita, Kansas. Pam is a member of our extended family, it was her special day. We gave the gift of our presence and enjoyed re-connecting with family and friends at her wedding and reception. 

(Things sure have changed since our three daughter’s weddings. Note: future Father of the Bride – here’s some good news: it appears expectations are becoming more “reasonable” regarding what makes a great wedding day.)

Participating in their wedding sparked my recollection of Sunday, September 12, 1976. To this day, my gratitude for God’s gift of Rita and our story of 35+ years remains; “…for better, for worse; for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health, so long as we both shall live.”

My weekend trip down memory lane has me continue the conversation of my past two blogs…may I invite you to reflect on life and how you think about time?

To summarize the key points -

1. Live today: we don’t know what will happen tomorrow
2. Lighten up: we’re not really in control
3. Value the moment: life vanishes quickly
4. Slow down: time doesn’t fly, we do
5. Learn to say “No”: we’re responsible

Now, let’s add one more thought to this matter of life and time.

What’s your posthumous impression? 

Have you noticed how much time and energy can go into managing one’s image? In fact, the bigger the stage or ego the greater the effort required … or so it seems. 

There is an impression retained by others after our earthly life is over; the “posthumous impression”. 

How do we make a great posthumous impression when by definition, we’re no longer present to manage it?  Let me state the obvious: our posthumous impression is predetermined by how we live today. 

When we live in the present… lighten up… value the moment… slow the pace… and learn to say “no”, our ability to remember and our memories may improve.

Live well this day then how you’ll be remember will take care of itself.

Mother Teresa reminds us of time’s reality, may we choose wisely…

Yesterday is gone.

Tomorrow has not yet come.

We have only today.

Let us begin.

When will you make a trip down “memory lane”?

Time is free, but it’s priceless.

You can’t own it, but you can use it.

You can’t keep it, but you can spend it.

Once you’ve lost it you can never get it back.

                                                                                                 -Harvey MacKay

Photo by Aih

Last week was our daughter’s birthday.  Stephanie is in her early 30’s so I sent a personalized birthday card using Short Message Service.  Yes, I love the Hallmark commercials…sorry.  No, it wasn’t a last minute thing, I actually chose the SMS-card (i.e. – text message). 

While creating the birthday message, I traveled back to a small city in Southeast Kansas. Rita and I began our journey in Independence and that is where our first born arrived Friday, March 10, 1978.

What do you think I thought about? 

So, is it just you or is time fleeting? 

Reality check on time

Do you remember being asked: Where do you want to be in five years? or Where will you be a year from now? or Where are you going on vacation? What are you doing this weekend? or What do you plan to do tomorrow?

Have you noticed how often we answer such questions with great confidence?

Are you ready for the reality check on time”? Here it is:

We really don’t know what will happen tomorrow.

So why do we live like we do?

Enter the illusion.  For many of us, life begins to seem so…so predictable that we begin to think whatever we plan we will do; whatever we say we will accomplish. And often we do, which only feeds the illusion.

We make plans to travel, we go and return home on time. We plan lunch and it happens just as we said it would.  We say what we’re going to do tomorrow and we get it done. 

Why do we think this will continue?  

It’s called an illusion…it’s when our minds are deceived into believing something that is not true.

When we fall for the illusion about time we can misinterpret reality. If we misinterpret reality long enough our performance and relationships suffer.

A few weeks ago many residents of the mid-west experienced this reality check. How?  You may re-call when several inches of fragile, beautiful snowflakes joined forces.  In a matter of hours, a lot of plans changed, due to a lot of snow; yes, calendars with big plans were edited to read: “snow day” no matter what was scheduled for tomorrow. 

Reality check: we don’t know what will happen tomorrow and we’re not really in control.

Think of the devastating story of last Friday when Japan was hit by one of the largest earthquakes ever. Indeed an entire country quickly experienced the “reality check on time” as that 8.9 earthquake triggered the March 11 Tsunami.  Thousands of people are dead, still missing or injured.   

We don’t know what will happen tomorrow and we’re not really in control.

What’s the point of this reality check?

It goes beyond a cliché; it is as Mother Teresa says…

Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.

Let us begin.

Leadership is influence. Influence is first exerted with self, then other people. Leaders that live in the moment see the people and make the day count.

Yes, by all means continue to plan, but remember it is an illusion to think you are in charge of tomorrow.  The reality check is given to help us live this day well, especially in our relationships.   

The Mist of Life

Another aspect of time surfaces as the question is asked: What is life? One ancient writer in Scripture uses simple imagery to answer this question:

“What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes.” (James 4:14)

When conditions are just right there is a thin fog, a thin gray cloud of water droplets just above the ground. Once the sun comes up, it usually vanishes quickly. 

That’s the thought I had while thinking about our firstborn being thirty-three years old…that wasn’t that long ago.

Leaders understand the value of time. Today is all we have, so see the people and seize the moment. Let’s begin.

Happy Birthday, Stephanie!

No doubt, you’ve read about Google’s top leadership change.  The Los Angeles Times reported on the regulatory filing submitted by Google to the Securities and Exchange Commission confirming an award for outgoing CEO, Eric Schmidt.

The members of the Leadership Development and Compensation Committee of Google’s Board of Directors (LDCC) approved equity awards for Eric Schmidt in the aggregate amount of $100 million on January 21, 2011. Consistent with Google’s equity-granting practice, stock options and Google Stock Units (GSUs) will be granted in the ratio of two stock options for each GSU, which will result in a GSU grant value of approximately $55.6 million and an option grant value of approximately $44.4 million.

The equity awards will be granted on February 2, 2011…and will vest over a four-year period.

In order to claim the entire $100-million equity award — the first such award Google is giving to the man who has served as its CEO over the last decade — Schmidt will have to remain at Google for at least the next four years.

Schmidt will need to stay around for another four years to receive his “nice pat on the back” along with the golden handcuffs.

The award is not only a nice pat on the back for Schmidt, it also gives him a reason not to head off and run any companies that are seeking to knock the Mountain View, Calif., firm off its perch as a Web search and advertising leader and a growing influence in smart-phone operating systems.

Speaking of Google, a search for “leadership development” created about 24,200,000 results (0.10 seconds). That’s a lot of leadership development “support” or not.  

Leadership development means what?

Leadership is the ability to lead, guide, direct or influence.

Development deals with a process of change in order to become stronger, more successful or helping someone to experience such a change.

Here’s my working definition for leadership development:

Leadership development is engaging in the process of personal change in order to expand one’s relationship influence for greater success.

Two Realities around Success Stories

The first reality is this thought: “Sure enough, I got here in spite of myself.” When I mention this to successful leaders, they usually just laugh and agree. 

Then, there is a second reality: “What got you here won’t get you there.” You are successful or you would not be reading this. Yes, we build on experience, feedback, success, and failure; to achieve “next level success” requires additional development.

Leadership development is engaging in the process of change in order to enlarge one’s relationship influence for greater success.

A new Page for Larry and Us

As leaders emerge there is a significant shift required; from technical savvy to leader savvy…from knowing how to DO to knowing how to BE and doing through others, that’s right, exercising the ability to lead, guide or influence PEOPLE.

Consider the story of Google’s new CEO, Larry Page.  As Nicholas Carlson reports in SFGate 

Googlers and ex-Googlers say the company’s new CEO, cofounder Larry Page, is an unpretentious, rude person who will find interacting with other people the most challenging part of his new job.

I don’t know Larry Page, but I do recognize the reality of the transition and transformation he is about to experience IF he is going to succeed.  I hope leadership development – the intentional engagement in the process of change in order to have relationship influence for continued success – is high on Larry’s agenda.

• How do you rate your “core leadership skills” (people skills) that allow you to influence others for greater success? 
• What do you base your response on; how do you know it is true?
• Where do you see opportunity to develop as a leader?

You may not be on the world’s stage like Larry Page, but leadership development is everyone’s personal responsibility whether you work for a Fortune 500 company or yourself.

Please join me in this conversation, I’d love to hear your thoughts; comments welcome below.

Picture: Wired.com

Growing pains are often experienced by children and teenagers, supposedly when they are growing fast. According to the Mayo Clinic website…

Growing pains tend to affect both legs and occur at night. In many instances, growing pains will wake a child from sleep. The term “growing pains” may be a misnomer because there’s no evidence that growth hurts.

While there may be “no evidence that growth hurts” in the physical development of children, what about in the personal development of people? 

Does pain help and hurt?

Pain enlarges our desire to learn and change…to embrace growth opportunities.

Recently, one of my executive coaching clients was telling me his story; it helps me understand what brings us to the coaching engagement.

He sold his company and is in a major transition after a successful career of 30 years.  We are listening to the story for truth. Truth liberates us from what holds us captive allowing us to live at the next level.  It was revealing when he said,

“I didn’t hurt enough, so I didn’t make the changes 5-6 years ago.”

This is not an indictment or judgment. It is a fact: personal growth is often hindered due to our high tolerance for pain. No, I’m not talking about physical pain.  

If you are on a hike, how long would you tolerate a small pebble in your boot?

If you are hurt by someone, how long would you tolerate the anger, bitterness, resentment, and negative health impact associated with holding a grudge?

What’s the difference?

The pain is present and a solution is available.

Unfortunately, most of us will stop as soon as we feel the pain of the pebble.  Then, this matter of forgiveness…; how long do you tolerate that pain before tapping into the solution?

What’s your position?

Yes, there are other contributing factors to our resistance.  As people we seem to fit into one of three positions regarding a behavior change:

1. We know something is holding us back, we’re just too busy to deal with it
2. We know something is getting in our way, but don’t know what to do
3. We don’t know are limiting behavior, everyone else does, it’s a blind spot

People committed to personal growth and success notice unproductive behavior and initiate change which improves their performance. It’s a powerful response. Influence and credibility increase as others observe real, sustained changes in behavior.

Pain tolerance exposed…it’s painful

As an executive coach I build trust, ask questions, and provide objectivity to support the growth effort.  This can be uncomfortable, if not down-right painful.  The desired outcome, improved performance and relationships with a positive impact on life and business, that’s awesome.

The pebble is out of the boot!

Opposition to change (personal growth) stands steady until our pain pushes us to break through the wall of resistance.

When do we you tap into our ability to learn and change? When there is enough pain to push us through the resistance. What is enough pain?

How high is your pain tolerance? 

If your pain tolerance is high it will take more pain to jolt you into action. In other words, a high pain tolerance hinders our ability and willingness to learn and grow as people.  

No pain, no change. No change, no gain.

Try telling a child or teenager, in the middle of the night that there’s no evidence that growth hurts…that their “growing pain” is a not an accurate description of what they are experiencing.

Try telling my coaching client that the pace of business success isn’t causing him pain today.

Pain, as emotional or mental distress, is a gift designed to help us stop, take stock, and engage the process of growth.

When the pain invites us to listen to the story and we search for truth; we then have a choice:

1. Manage the pain, this often leads to greater ramifications, unintended consequences
2. Embrace the pain which usually removes our resistance to change, leads to improved performance and enjoyment of life

Consider this: on a scale of 1 to 6 (1 = very low; 6 = extremely high) what is your pain tolerance?

If it is high, how is this impacting your willingness to change?  What is that costing you?

Good news: it’s never too late to engage the process of growth.

Where are you feeling pain today? 

What needs to change?

What support do you need to make that change?

What if you forward this to a friend?

What if you post a comment and engage in the conversation?

I’d love to hear your voice. 

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Photo by takomabibelot

Recently, one of my clients requested coaching for her front-line employees.

Coaching is always exciting, I love it!  Most of my coaching is done with executives, managers, or business owners.  So this manager’s decision to provide coaching for her staff is a gift to them, the team, the business unit.

After exploring needs and calendars we scheduled their Employee Leadership Development session. I’m excited for them.

Later that evening while walking with my wife, Rita I shared the story. She celebrated with me.  Then, simply asked, “How does it compare to your 1on1 Executive Coaching and Next Level TEAM Coaching?”

Her open-ended question immediately caused me to stop and think.

That’s what a well-framed question does, invites us to stop and think. That’s good.

Her question sent me on a journey. Over the next couple of days my answer came. The answer brings greater clarity and focus to my practice as a certifed executive coach. 

Well-framed questions are powerful.

How do questions help?

The open-ended question is a request for information and designed to help us stop and explore for truth.

1.  Slow things Down

Questions  s l o w   t h i n g s   d o w n; do you ever need protection from knee-jerk re-actions. What might happen if you ask a question before giving away a piece of your mind?

Have you noticed how quickly you can answer a “yes/no” question? However, an open-ended question (those starting with who, what, how, when, where, or why) can interrupt and slow down an emotionally charged conversation.  That’s good.

2.  Demonstrate Respect

How do you react when being told what to do?  Come on, now, what is your typical response to being “told”?

How do you respond when “the boss” seeks your input?  Most of us feel respected when our input is sought through an open-ended quesiton.

 Yes, a well-framed, open-ended question is helpful and powerful.

3.  Create Space

Often if we are to discover truth we need space: time and place to think.  

Creating space is the disciplined use of time and place and resources for reflection on the truth found in the story.  Your story. The story…what factually happened? 

We must slow the pace to create the space required to experience personal development.  To listen to our story. 

There is a time conspiracy – a subversive plot to keep us so busy we don’t have time or a place for thinking, consideration, consistent reflection. 

Why the pursuit of truth in the story?

Truth liberates.

Truth sheds light and opens our minds to possibilities.

What happens if we run from the truth (reality/facts)?  Our growth and potential is hindered; in effect we run from future success.

What is the best predictor of future success is?

The Best Predictor of Future Success is the ability and willingness to learn and change achieved through consistent reflection on truth found in the story.          

– Steve Laswell

Questions help us give careful thought to reality…the facts, when examined, become feedback.  Truth allows us to choose; we can change unproductive behavior, enlarge our influence (leadership), and achieve success…yes, make a difference in the world.

Here are a few questions for fun, pick one and see what happens as you reflect on it…

• If purpose gives birth to the best within us, what are you birthing?
• If “raising the bar” is about the next level…where do you want to raise the bar?
• What is blocking your ability to show up well and expand your influence?
• What do you need to prioritize today in order to achieve your dream?

Questions (open-ended) can help us slow down an emotionally charge conversation, demonstrate respect, and create space to discover solutions.

Rita’s question created an additional coaching service.  That demonstrates the power of a question.

How effective are you in using questions?

How much space do you have in your daily life for reflection?

Would you please forward to ONE friend?

What do you think…comment below; I’d love to hear from you. 

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How well are you protecting your personal well being?  

Perhaps you saw “Jaws”, I didn’t but here’s the story line.  What subtle life messages do you hear in it?

Martin Brody is the police chief of Amity, an island resort town somewhere in New England. One summer morning, Brody is called to the beach, where the mangled body of a summer vacationer has washed ashore. The medical examiner tells the chief it could have been a shark that killed the swimmer.

The Mayor, who is desperate to keep the revenue from July 4th tourists wants Brody to say the young woman’s death was caused by a motorboat propeller instead of a shark…because the thought of a shark would drive tourists away from Amity. 

[Note to self…it looks like the mayor puts money ahead of people's lives.]

Shark expert Matt Hooper believes the female swimmer was killed by a shark. Hooper is proven right a few days later, when another person is killed.

Quint, the shark hunter offers to find the shark and kill it, but Police Chief Vaughn thinks his $10,000 professional service fee is too high.  Meanwhile, Mayor Vaughn leaves the beaches open; he still wants the summer revenue.

After another crazy experience the mayor agrees to hire Quint to find the shark.

Here is the dialog where Quint responds to the mayor’s challenge:  

Quint: Y’all know me. Know how I earn a livin’. I’ll catch this bird for you, but it ain’t gonna be easy. Bad fish. Not like going down the pond chasin’ bluegills and tommycods. This shark, swallow you whole. Little shakin’, little tenderizin’, an’ down you go.

And we gotta do it quick, that’ll bring back your tourists, put all your businesses on a payin’ basis. But it’s not gonna be pleasant. I value my neck a lot more than three thousand bucks, chief. I’ll find him for three, but I’ll catch him, and kill him, for ten.

But you’ve gotta make up your minds. If you want to stay alive, then ante up. If you want to play it cheap and be on welfare for the whole winter.

I don’t want no volunteers, I don’t want no mates, there’s just too many captains on this island. Ten thousand dollars for me by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing.

When do you yell “Shark!”?

If you’ve heard me speak or read much of my stuff you know I’m about developing people. 

As The People Developer it is my heartfelt duty to proclaim this warning: “Business Eats People!” 

Business (your work) will take whatever you are willing to give it and still want more. It’s the nature of business to take, consume, produce…; take, consume, produce…; take, consume, produce.  This is how business functions – not good or bad, right or wrong…just how it is.

Knowing this to be true, I hope you work at a business that values people (you). 

You see, I believe the business of business is people. 

When a business takes care of its people, the people will take care of the business.

When this is not the case, work will “…swallow you whole. Little shakin’, little tenderizin’, an’ down you go.”  Did I hear “Shark!”?

But what about OSHA?

This of course is the Occupational Safety and Health Administration of the United States.  According to Wikipedia, OSHA

…was created by Congress under the Occupational Safety and Health Act signed by President Richard M. Nixon, on December 29, 1970.  Its mission is to prevent work-related injuries, illnesses, and occupational fatality by issuing and enforcing standards for workplace safety and health.

As well intentioned and valuable as the mission of this agency may be OSHA is not there to protect your work-life balance. It will not encourage you to live out your values or make sure you are engaged in meaningful work or that you are doing work that you enjoy or that allows you to use your strengths. 

No one will do this OR can do this…except you.

The setting of boundaries, the negotiation of expectations, and making choices that lead to living life with purpose and passion while serving others is our personal responsibility. “The company” or “the boss” will not do it…not even when a business leader says “our most important asset is our people.”  Remember the nature of business is to eat people.  It is not right or wrong, it just is.  Whatever you are willing to sacrifice it will take.

This is not an attack on “big business” or business “in general” or “capitalism”.  No profit, no business, no provision.  It is about being aware of the sign on the beach. 

It is about embracing personal responsibility for your personal development which includes living well.

Have you experienced the affect of downsizing? 

The pressure to do more with less is on like never before!  More pressure, greater demands, and work will “…swallow you whole. Little shakin’, little tenderizin’, an’ down you go.”

How might you move forward…?

1. Pay attention to your story - What’s the message around hours worked, stress, your health, strain on your relationships? How well are you living out your values?
2. Be intentional – Where can you make an adjustment? What’s one thing you can do to “take back your life”?
3. Solicit support – Everyone needs an objective person to ask real questions and encourage the hard choices

There’s a man-eating creature out there.

How are you protecting your personal well being?  

 “The Best Predictor of Continued Success is the ability and willingness to learn and change achieved through consistent reflection on the Story.”

-Steve Laswell

What you think? Do you like this post?

Please leave your comment about this post on the comment section below.  Would you forward to a friend or tweet it?

Thanks for reading The People Project blog.

How are you accelerating your personal success?  

The Next Level Journey is about finding a path to maintain your personal success.  This article completes a 3-part series answering this important question: how do you accelerate success when the pace of life does not support the personal development?  

There’s no question about it, most of us are living a frantic lifestyle.

There is price to be paid for this pace.  It shows up in the decline of health, lack of direction, out-of-balance work-life, excessive stress, and relationship strain. 

Principle #1:

The way to accelerate personal growth is to slow life down.

Once you make begin to “slow life down”, you must choose to support your personal growth; this leads to principle two.

Principle #2:

Life requires consistent reflection to be productive

The pace of life stands in direct opposition to your practice of this success supporting discipline of consistent reflection. 

Let me repeat and encourage you to consider this statement:

“The Best Predictor of Continued Success is the ability and willingness to learn and change achieved through consistent reflection on your Story.”

                                                       -Steve Laswell

As you slow the pace down and engage your head and heart in consistent reflection on your story  (i.e. – feedback, experience, success, and failure) you position yourself for continued success.  

Now, Principle #3:

Creating space supports success in all of life.

Space includes both a period of time and a place to fit something in.  To create is to bring something into existence.  To create space means you make room in your schedule for an appointment with yourself with the goal to listen to your story, the events of your day, week, month, year…life.

What’s that you say?  You don’t have time.

Benno Schmidt, Jr. took over as president of Yale in 1986. I like what he said about creating space and leadership…

“If I can’t put my feet on the desk and look out the window and think without an agenda, I might be managing Yale, but I will not be leading it.”

Yale University Campus

Let’s just say, you are the president of Your Life.  Without time and place to give careful thought to the Story you may be “managing life”, but are you “leading it”? 

If you are not leading your life who or what is?

Creating space supports leadership development.  Truth, the facts or reality come to liberate us from limiting behaviors. Then, with improved performance comes better results . . . success happens. 

What goes into “creating space”?

1. Time
2. Place
3. Resources

What do I mean by “resources”?  It can be any of the following or a combination thereof:

• Asking yourself open-ended questions
• Reading daily in a helpful book
• Talking with an objective friend
• Using a certified coach
• Writing in your journal
• Practicing a deep breathing
• Sending a smile to your face
• Laughing out loud…fake it till you make it
• Silence – quiet the voices, turn off the gadgets
• Listen
• Your story…that meeting, conversation, decision, experience, feedback, success, and failure

Creating space – time & place for reflective thinking and writing allows you to reconsider previous actions, events, decisions, feedback, experience, success, or failure…the Story.

What is your reward for consistent reflection on the Story?

Freedom. Growth. Success in life. 

How much time do you have or want in your daily or weekly schedule for consistent reflection?

What’s doable?  It can be 5 or 10 minutes, it will make a difference.

What you think? Do you like this post?

Please leave your comment about this post on the comment section below.  Would you forward to a friend or tweet it?

Thanks for reading The People Project blog.

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How well are you connecting with life?

Room 224 of St. Francis Hospital is right across from the nurse’s station.  The door was open so I went in; however, I did not recognize the patient.

No one was in the room; the patient’s name was not posted on the white board with the other erasable bits of information.  So, I stepped across the hall to check with the nurse to be sure I had the right room.  I did; it was Jack*. 

When I spoke to Jack he did not give much of a response other than to slowly turn his head to look in my direction; does he see me?  I wasn’t sure.

Shortly, his nurse stepped in; Teresa was intentional in a way you expect someone to be who is confident and engaged.  She went to the other side of the bed speaking to me, then to Jack.  Jack responded to the nurse.  She spoke up; I must have been too soft spoken. 

After a difficult surgery, Jack was doing some better that day.

As Teresa left she said, “I think of him as a Gentle Giant; was he?”

It is apparent Jack is a tall man; he filled the bed from one end to the other.  I mumbled something to indicate my agreement.

“Yes, I just picture him as a Gentle Giant,” she repeated as she slipped out of the room.

Now I am left with silent Jack and my thoughts standing by his bedside. 

What was Jack like when he was a boy…a young man?  What was his line of work?  Who is this man that now lies there sedated with morphine to manage the pain?  What is his legacy?  Will he ever walk again?  How is his wife and family doing? 

My steps were slow walking down the hall, temporarily lost in my thoughts.

Life happens quickly.

When was the last time you noticed life happens quickly? What caused you realize this truth?

Time is a limited resource.  There is a mysterious limit on how much time you are granted to live your life on this planet. 

What happens if you fail to recognize time as a limited resource?

How do you monitor your use and investment of this limited resource Read the rest of this entry »

How does taking responsibility lead to success? 

In the current Harvard Business Review interview Howard Schultz of Starbucks fame spoke of his return as CEO.  The article “We Had to Own the Mistakes” by Adi Ignatius begins:

By the time Howard Schultz stepped down as chief executive of Starbucks, in 2000, the coffee chain was one of the world’s most recognizable brands—and on a steady trajectory of growth. Eight years later Starbucks was suffering from a rough economy and its own strategic missteps, and Schultz felt compelled to return to the CEO seat. His previous tenure had seen promising growth, but now he faced a challenging mission: to lead a turnaround of the company he had built. 

HBR: We thought we knew the Howard Schultz story. You had a vision, built a successful company, and moved on. But then Starbucks ran into trouble, and two years ago you had to return as CEO. How hard has it been to get things right?

Schultz: The past two years have been transformational for the company and, candidly, for me personally. When I returned, in January 2008, things were actually worse than I’d thought. The decisions we had to make were very difficult, but first there had to be a time when we stood up in front of the entire company as leaders and made almost a confession—that the leadership had failed the 180,000 Starbucks people and their families. And even though I wasn’t the CEO, I had been around as chairman; I should have known more. I am responsible. We had to admit to ourselves and to the people of this company that we owned the mistakes that were made. Once we did, it was a powerful turning point. It’s like when you have a secret and get it out: The burden is off your shoulders.  [Emphasis added]

When a person acts responsibly they assume accountability for where they are along the journey of life.  Personal authority is accepted regarding one’s life which leads to improved decision-making.  A sense of ownership is required.

How do you know if you are not taking full responsibility? 

Listen to your words.

When you hear yourself blaming, complaining, excuse-making, or taking on a victim-view this indicates you are avoiding responsibility.  Think of these as indicators or a “yellow light” urging you to slow down and STOP.

• Stop and Breathe (Yes, take that deep, cleansing breath now)
• Think about what you are thinking:
  • Who am I blaming for this situation?
  • Why am I complaining…really?
  • How am I making excuses for what’s going on in my life right now?
  • What affect is this feeling of helplessness having on me?  Why do I think I’m a victim in this situation?
• Open yourself to other viewpoints using questions
• Probe for truth

Instead of blaming, complaining, excuse-making, or assuming a victim mentality when you stop, own it,  and look for truth in the story you will gain freedom to choose your future. 

If you take responsibility for your past then you can take charge of your future.  The alternative is to leave it in the hands of your past.  Much like forgiveness, taking responsibility frees you to move forward.  Taking responsibility for your life releases hope for tomorrow.

In the case of Starbuck’s CEO this is a loyalty building strategy for all their customers: the internal (employees) and external (consumers) customers.  

Taking the story at face value, it is refreshing to hear Howard Schultz living this principle.  Listen to him testify to the effectiveness: “…it was a powerful turning point.”

What a payoff for accepting responsibility!

Where do you want to accept responsibility?