What do you do when business behavior is getting in the way? “The People Project” is about human capital improvement... helping you or your leaders reach full potential and make a difference.
Steve Laswell, CSC The People Developer
Q: How hard was it to re-focus with such a short time off the medal podium and the next event?
A: I had about five coaches on my rear in the warm-down pool making me re-focus so I didn't have a choice.
Pro-active: An emerging leader is on your radar, you don't want to lose them to the competition while "that position" opens up, you need to send culture message: "We invest in our leaders", and/or you know what got them here won't get them there... some "tweaking" of business behavior is in order
Incentive: Your culture is about the people; this year a few select leaders will not only receive a "job well done" merit raise but the career-impacting investment of a coaching engagement a individualized road map to even greater success.
Re-active: A leader's business behavior is hurting them and costing you with undesired turnover, disengaged direct reports, HR complaints, office conflict, low productivity; it has become a corrective measure you hope to keep the employee.
"People change when they hurt enough that they have to; learn enough that they want to, and receive enough that they are able to."
~ John Maxwell
"If you are selected for coaching, the attitude, as they say, is gratitude.... You have after all, just been handed a customized map of the road to success. And fortunate you are ... in the employ that values you despite your flaws and actually — mirable dictum — wants to invest in you."
Thank you for allowing me to be present in your Story this past year.
Whether we spent hours together 1on1, connected in one of my coaching groups or virtually through my weekly blog; whether you picked up a copy of my book or you are a colleague – you are touching my life and journey.
With January 2012 we will celebrate the beginning of our fifth year here at Next Level Executive Coaching,LLC.
Truly, my story would not be the same without you in it; thank you.
Now, I invite you to receive this gift – is my wish for us, for you and for me; it is part of the answer to a full life. It is a quality that impacts how you will show up as a leader…today.
Our lives are defined by opportunities, even the ones we miss. ― F. Scott Fitzgerald
Photo by Pargon on flickr
It was a week of early appointments and travel.
Sunday we drove to Oklahoma City for our grandchildren’s Christmas Program and to celebrate Levi’s sixth birthday.
Tuesday I caught an early flight to Denver in route to Montana to work on-site with one of my clients. What a privilege; the response and progress is significant. Wednesday was a 6:30 a.m. breakfast with Doug. Incredibly rewarding; I love it.
Back home, in time for a Thursday breakfast to wrap up Brent’s 1on1 Executive Coaching engagement and celebrate his growth.
What’s one more breakfast appointment? It’s Friday, why not?
Not until Saturday morning, was I able to “create space” for reflection. Not only do I desire it, I require it if I’m to operate at my highest potential.
Do you have room?
When there is no room, we miss something in the Story – an opportunity.
This idea of “no room” reminds me of the Christmas Story.
The Bible records a time, around 6 – 4 BC, when Caesar Augustus ordered a census. That meant everyone was required to return to their hometown and register. If you were in the hospitality sector, it was good for business, right?
A man named Joseph made the trip from Nazareth to Bethlehem, his ancestral hometown. Accompanied by Mary – Joseph’s very pregnant fiancée – the time came for her to have her baby. One small problem, they did not have a reservation and there were no rooms.
Can you imagine?
Upon hearing their plight, the owner of the inn was innovative; he created space – offering them the stable.
That’s the story.
What’s the cost when we have no room?
Have you noticed, or is just me? Are life’s demands more demanding? Is there less room, maybe even “no room” for what matters most?
This Christmas weekend, I do not expect a young couple to show up at our house looking for a place to have a baby. However, our house will be filled with people.
People.
Yes, the business of life is people.
In fact, if you know me, you know I believe the business of business is people.
People and the Story
As people, our stories merge. The Story is written at work, in our communities, homes and families; sometimes amazingly beautiful, sometimes extremely difficult.
What does it cost when we have no room? When there is a shortage of space for listening to the Story, for connecting with the people?
The short answer: opportunity.
Opportunity as a chance to make a difference or seize the moment; to encourage another human being, to express appreciation, to cultivate a spirit of gratitude, to apologize, to forgive, to love and be loved, to enjoy a fresh start; to “see the people”?
Can you remember the disappointment you felt when you realized you missed opportunity? That’s the cost of “no room” in our lives for reflection, contemplation, meditation, listening to the Story.
If there is “no room” when will you reflect on how you want to show up differently in your relationships…when will you consider what success really is…when will you examine your values and the role they are playing in how you live, or not?
The owner of Bethlehem Inn could have missed a historic opportunity because he had “no room”; but he didn’t. While it was not a master suite, it was good enough. Mary delivered a son and they named him Jesus.
Life is filled with opportunity.
How well are you creating space for reflection on your Story, your influence, your purpose and contribution?
Yes, life is filled with opportunities; do you have room?
The ability to function at our highest level requires we create space so we can see the people…and that includes seeing ourselves.
Please forward or Tweet if you liked this article … love to read your comment below.
Newly released, available to you and your team, a must have book:
THE PEOPLE PROJECT:
Your Guide to Changing Behavior and Growing Your Influence as a Leader
Some changes look negative on the surface but you will soon realize that space is being created in your life for something new to emerge. ― Eckhart Tolle
Time and space – time to be alone, space to move about – these may well become the great scarcities of tomorrow. – Edwin Way Teale
Eight business leaders are in the room as I coach and explore with them The Best Predictor of Future Success… yes,
The ability and willingness
to learn and change,
achieved through
consistent reflection
on truth found in the Story.
As I ask “What stands out to you?” a successful businessman discusses the phrase: “consistent reflection” and the challenge of the discipline.
Space is the breath of life
Consistent reflection requires space.
Consistent reflection is a discipline - a systematic method used to advance something - in this case, personal growth.
These days I find myself inviting people to breathe. It is amazing how few of us practice deep breathing. The intensity of life is confirmed by how we “take breaths”. I know – who has time for deep breathing?
In support of future success it is essential to create space for consistent reflection. I know - who has time to be still and think?
Just as there are significant benefits from diaphragmatic breathing such as relaxation and stress relief, there is tremendous benefit from consistent reflection – freedom to grow as a human being.
How to Create Space
Look at the word “space” to discover the first secret:
To create space you must take control of the pace of life.
Space is more than the region beyond the Earth’s atmosphere. From a growth perspective , space is having enough room to accommodate something. It can be a period of time or an area set apart for a specific use; time and place.
What if you could have less unnecessary stress, more peace, and greater freedom? Sound good? You can and here’s how: slow down. Create space for consistent reflection.
This is where we listen for truth in the story delivered as feedback, experience, success, or failure.
“Truth” involves the facts of the story, not assumptions; truth is reality, not your opinion or just “your reality” … to be truth it must include the other person’s perspective, too.
To create space you must take control of the PACE of life.
Breathe.
Let’s try that again, slowly now … you’ve got time.
Created Space is the disciplined use of time, place, and resources to reflect on the truth in the story and to bring truth to your story.
No acceleration required.
Life requires no acceleration; our world is taking care of that.
In 1970 Alvin Toffler wrote his bestselling book Future Shock; back when the pace of life was different, if not slower. While he wrote of information overload it was first mentioned in 1964 by Bertram Gross in The Managing of Organizations.
According to Wikipedia, Toffler uses “information overload”
…to refer to the difficulty a person can have understanding an issue and making decisions that can be caused by the presence of too much information.
Sensory overload was thought to cause disorientation and lack of responsiveness. Toffler posited information overload as having the same sorts of effects, but on the higher cognitive functions… (Emphasis added)
How does this affect our performance and relationships?
What happens to our growth journey when the pace of life is combined with sensory/information overload? We exhibit self-limiting behavior that produces poor performance and limits our influence. We are unable to make “the reasonably correct assessments on which rational behavior is dependent.” (Wikipedia)
The alternative to “rational” behavior is “irrational”. How we show up lacks reason or logical thought. What I’m doing to my relationship or career or health doesn’t make sense. We must create space to consistently reflect on behavior patterns; unproductive behavior means we are “stuck”.
Life does not require acceleration.
The second secret of Created Space; it…
Accelerates behavior change which leads to high performance
When space and time are invested in consistent reflection, listening for truth in your Story, the reward is freedom. Only truth liberates us from being stuck with self-limiting behavior.
Creating space allows us to see what living frantic lives hides.
When would be convenient?
When it comes getting things done we set appointments, am I right? Whether a business lunch, dentist appointment, a client meeting, the big game, vacation, even the oil change; why not time to reflect?
When it matters, put it on the calendar.
Time and space – time to be alone, space to move about – how scarce are they in your world? How will take control of the pace of life to create space?
What behavior change will address to improve your performance?
How well are you creating space so you can write your story?
Please forward or Tweet if you like this article … love to hear your comment below.
Newly released, available to you and your team, a must have book:
THE PEOPLE PROJECT:
Your Guide to Changing Behavior and Growing Your Influence as a Leader
Follow effective action with quiet reflection. From the quiet reflection will come even more effective action. – Peter Drucker*
Stonington, Maine - Photo by Steve Laswell
That’s where I was on September 11 when the World Trade Center twin towers were brought down. As the news came in we were covering the story and glued to monitors; like the rest of America, in a state of shock.
Last week there was a lot of 9/11 coverage … to remember and re-visit is an important part of our nation’s future success is to remember.
Consistent reflection is vital whether for a nation, a company, or an individual life. A reflective lifestyle supports your ability and willingness to learn and change as you listen, reflect on the truth found in the Story.
What is the reward of such a commitment? Accelerated growth.
Last week, I shared the four steps that helped me through the days following the shocking reality: “I’m not coming back Monday”. Here’s what I wrote if you missed it.
What about the next day?
Saturday, September 1, 2007, began my unexpected “September Sabbatical”.
How did I move forward?
To help me remember, I pulled out my 2007 Journal last week. As I reviewed the Story, here’s what I notice…
1. The Pain:
What happens when a) you think you are deeply appreciated b) you made sacrifices for the company, and c) you are handled just like someone fired for performance issues? For me, that was the most painful part.
While my departure was for budget reasons there is still the pain.
Carol Bartz dealt with pain is different than mine. The former CEO of Yahoo experienced the pain when Roy Bostock delivered the news over the phone; the Board had fired her.
“I got it. I got it,” she told the Yahoo chairman. “I thought you were classier,” she added.
More bad news?
According to a Fortune.com, her interview with Patricia Sellers will likely cost her $10 million as she had a “non-disparagement clause”. The Pain.
2. The Voices:
How normal, in such times of unexpected news and personal shock to waver between fear and faith, faith and fear, despair and hope.
My journal entry on 9/1 indicates this reality …
Two voices: 1) that’s corporate, a machine that takes and spits you out when done; no surprises here. 2) You’re going to have an amazing second half as I promised; I Am your Shepherd. (This thought comes out of my faith-based relationship with God.)
I don’t want to get stuck in anger or not properly grieve.
It’s an adventure with a painful birth moment.
Resisting fear.
3. The Truth:
Beyond the pain and voices there is the new reality. Reality is one aspect of truth – the facts – involving what must be dealt with in real life.
Once again, I quote from my journal as I reflected on the Story, the morning after …
Radio is not my passion, (it’s) a store-front to let me work with and help people along The Journey. It has become increasingly difficult to be myself and use my gifts, life experience, and wisdom to coach, mentor, and guide others.
Some of life is a mystery, at least in real time. A mystery is something not fully understood or understandable. We gain perspective – over time – which allows us to comprehend the bigger picture and appreciate the new opportunity.
Two weeks into the “new reality” it hit us; we were worn out. Halfway into the “sabbatical” I expressed concern that maybe I was “too relaxed…not doing my part”. That moment required faith if I was going to remain free and experience peace while embracing the Story.
After three weeks, the time came for me to “release” the decision maker who delivered the message late Friday afternoon: “No, you are not coming back on Monday.”
Forgiveness is about freedom; mine.
4. The Search:
The appointed day came – Monday, October 1, 2007; it was time … a new day, new week, new month, new quarter; it time for a fresh start. Indeed, my Significant September was over; it was “time to throw myself into the pursuit of what is next”.
How interesting to read in my Journal dated September 11, 2007 …
My DESIRE to help people, to develop people is high; I’m clueless as to what’s next…”
Four years later, I am a successful, certified executive coach; The People Developer.
How did make the transition?
It is what I call The Best Predictor of Future Success … the “secret” to future success …
The ability and willingness to learn and change, achieved through consistent reflection on truth found in the Story.
How do you identify with my story? Where are you in the story?
What was your “sudden jolt” story? How do you relate?
What did you do to get through your “shock and awe” moment?
Please comment below.
Newly released, available to you and your team, a must have book:
THE PEOPLE PROJECT:
Your Guide to Changing Behavior and Growing Your Influence as a Leader
You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. -Jim Rohn
The role of Storyin individual growth and leadership development is fascinating, powerful, and foundational to personal success. The invitation of Story is to listen, learn, and lead; the reward is accelerated growth.
Not only are we given the authority and power to edit our Story, it is in fact, our responsibility.
Last week, my journey highlighted the connection between personal responsibility and success. For some time, I’ve been working on my soon-to-be-published book – THE PEOPLE PROJECT: Your Guide to Personal Development and Growing Your Influence.
My copy editor, LeAnn, has the manuscript 99% complete; Jim Stovall wrote a great Foreword and cover designs are ready to choose from.
What happened Wednesday? The resistance; you know, opposition.
Finally, in a note to LeAnn I owned it, “I’m stuck.” I listed the things paralyzing my progress. Desperation exceeded my fear of making a wrong decision and something wonderful happened; I took responsibility AND action.
Giving thought to “What’s next?” combined with the act of writing it down freed me to take action; the strangle hold of fear was broken.
Giving thought to “What if?” allowed me to see the silliness of my procrastination which is driven by a lingering perfectionism (yes, I’m a recovering perfectionist). The reality (truth) exposed my deceptive thinking and set me free. Within 30 minutes I pulled together what LeAnn needed to finish her part of the back cover and sent it off to California. Up and at ‘em, Atom Ant!
Now, my book is 95% complete.
Have you experienced how the suffocating effect of the resistance? Listening to the story helped me hear the truth (facts/reality). To illustrate…two simple bit so truth from my story were:
Reality Check #1: Cover Design…most likely any of the designs will work.
Reality Check #2: How I secure my book’s ISDN number really doesn’t matter that much; just do it!
Listening to Story for truth allowed me to “learn”; freedom came and I stepped up to lead the project; to edit the story. The action moved me toward successful completion of my goal: publish my book.
Simple, Just Not Easy, Accepting Responsibility
There’s no “secret” here, but maybe this will help you or someone you know experience personal success by accepting responsibility. Think of a traffic light: yellow, red, green.
1. SLOW DOWN (yellow light) pay attention to the indicators, all rooted in self-deception.
Blaming – Yes, attributing responsibility to someone else
Complaining – Unproductive expressions of unhappiness with a situation
Excuse-making – Creating an invalid reason to avoid something
Victim-mentality – Hiding as helpless in this situation
Once we notice these warning signals, what then?
2. STOP (red light) as you catch yourself thinking or saying words that are blaming, complaining, excuse-making, or victim-am-I oriented, stop.
Stop and breathe. Yes, the amazing grace gift of a cleansing breath
Think, ask questions such as
What really happened?
Who am I blaming for this situation? Why?
Why am I complaining…really?
How am I making an excuse for my role in this…?
What effect is “feeling helpless” having on me right now?
Open up to other viewpoints; How can I edit the Story?
Probe for the truth in the Story: What did I expect?
To stay at the intersection of life’s journey now it’s time to GO.
3. GO (green light) own your story.
Edit your response and change the outcome
Accept responsibility and use your authority to act
Focus on the desired outcome and focus on others in the story
Create your preferred future
When we accept responsibility, creation can happen. When we edit our Story we create stronger relationships and responses which will lead to future success.
Everyone has a story.
Every day we add to our story.
Today, you will influence someone’s story.
Our narratives intersect, the story develops; accepting responsibility, we write the Story.
A foundation to executive coaching is to help my client listen to the truth found in the story. Whether it is feedback, experience, success or failure, the truth (facts and realities of our stories) will help us get to the next level as leaders.
A recent coaching session not only illustrates this but is the subject of today’s post.
With very little “small talk”, Mike* begins with the statement, “It’s been a rough week.” Immediately he proceeds to share three stories from his past week:
A necessary employee release
A difficult conversation with a service provider
A disappointing experience with a potential strategic partner
As he details the narratives, one key word continues to surface in my mind: expectations. When he finishes the last account I ask, “How do expectations play in each of these stories?”
When are expectations NOT present?
For coaching around expectations, oxygen is my analogy of choice.
Think about it, how much attention do you give to your need for oxygen? Unless you have a medical condition, not much, right? Most of us take oxygen into our lungs without thinking about it…inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale … breathing.
Much like our relationship with oxygen, is there ever a moment that we don’t have an expectation? Think through your day … do you expect the alarm to go off or the front desk to call? Do you expect light with the flip of the switch? Do you expect a change in room temperature with the adjustment of the thermostat? Do you expect hot water when you turn the left water faucet? What do you expect when you put the key in your car’s ignition?
On and on all day long … we take oxygen, without thinking about it … expectations are continuous.
What about those moments of unmet expectations?
The hot water tank mysteriously stops producing during the night…COLD shower! What’s your response? Running a few minutes behind schedule for a big appointment, every traffic light IS a red stop light? How do you respond?
How about frustrated?
Yes, feelings of disappointment or exasperation come when our plans are hindered or our desires go unmet … frustration is often the default setting.
Frustrate comes from the Latin root, meaning to disappoint, Webster defines frustrate:
: to balk or defeat in an endeavor; b. to induce feelings of discouragement in; to make ineffectual; bring to nothing: impede, obstruct
Frustration is a fear-based emotion triggered when we feel threatened. In the case of expectations frustration can be a response to real or perceived opposition to our goals, plans, or desires. What comes with fear? That’s right, an inclination to “fight or flee”.
How are relationships affected?
We just rehearsed some every day, unconscious expectations … hot water, lights on, car starting, a close parking space, and green lights all the way to the office. Such expectations can go unmet and produce frustration. Mature self-awareness and self-control keeps the frustration in check.
The greater challenge involves our expectations with self and others. What happens to a relationship when we believe someone is hindering our success or blocking fulfillment of a desire? We can experience the same fear-based emotion of frustration.
What happens when what we want from another person is not delivered? What happens when we think another person is standing in opposition to our success?
In such a moment the fear creates disharmony and it is a small step to conflict. An unfulfilled expectation triggers the fear-based emotion of frustrationopening the door to interpersonal conflict.
The Missing E’s of Expectation Harmony
Notice the natural progression that leads to this interpersonal conflict do to expectations.
unEXPRESSED – How well did I communicate of the expectation?
unEXAMINED – What resources are needed, is it doable?
unFULFILLED – Why isn’t it happening?
Interpersonal Conflict – Why am I so frustrated with …?
Mike made the connection. As we listened to each of the stories and reflected on the truth (facts) he did not clearly set expectations. If he is frustrated, how might the other people be feeling?
To reduce relationship conflict and achieve desired outcomes, expectations must be wellexpressed and examined in order to be executed.
Where are you frustrated and with who, self or others? What expectation is NOT being met?
What is your experience around expectations? Please share your comments below.
We began to explore the reality check of timelast week when I invited you to think about two ideas:
We don’t know what will happen tomorrow … we’re not really in control
Life is brief … value each day
Leaders recognize the responsibility to lead their own lives before trying to lead others. To understand and value time is helpful. When we live as if today is all we have we could begin to see the people and seize the moment.
What is really flying?
As we embrace the reality check of time this idea that “time flies” surfaces.
When was the last time you said something about time flying? How often do you feel rushed or like you can’t get things done?
Logically, we know time is consistent; it is measured in seconds, minutes, hours, days, weeks, months, years, decades, centuries for all of us … so what’s going on?
Professor Nancy Darling blogging on PsychologyToday.com writes about our experience with time. She points out several theories related to why we may think “time flies”.
Fewer new things happen later in life
Years are proportionally smaller to the whole of life lived
Our biological clock slows down
We miss external clues indicating the passing of time
Additional research by Dr. William Friedman and his colleague, Steve Janssen is cited, too; here are their conclusions – what do you think?
First, the busier you are, the faster time seems to fly by. These results are robust across all ages.
Second, EVERYONE feels time is flying by. On average, on a scale from -2 (very slowly) to +2 (very fast), people of ALL AGES judged time to be passing fast (rating it higher than 1).
Third, age differences were very small, and almost entirely limited – as had been found in the previous study – to the perception of how fast the last 10 years had gone by.
These findings…all come to the same conclusion:
Does Time Fly When You’re Getting Old?
Not really, no. But it does fly by when you feel rushed and can’t get things done. (Emphasis added)
When asked why, then, older people seem to feel like time was rushing by faster now than it was when they were younger, Dr. Friedman had two answers.
First, he suggested, this is such a strong folk belief that people report what they think they’re expected to feel.
More importantly, perhaps, he suggested that maybe as we get older, we just don’t remember how rushed we felt when we were young.
What’s it costing us to fly?
Yesterday, I had an unusual day; some would say call it a “funk”. I’ll spare you the details but it was not my normal, ask anyone that knows me. So, what happened?
As I reflected on my previous week I flew through my week and not with Southwest Airlines. We were out of town over the weekend, I had back-to-back early morning appointments, and consistently went to sleep late; don’t ask what I think Daylight Savings Time.
The pace of my week was out of control. My commitment to create space to take care of my mind, body, and spirit was disrupted. There was a price to pay, including lost productivity as I closed out my week.
What if it’s not a misguided belief that follows all the talk about how rushed we feel?
What if it’s really not about a fading memory of life a few years back?
What if it really is the pace we choose to live?
That’s right, it’s the pace we choose to live.
As I reviewed my schedule last week I made choices that displaced my time for reflection. Could I have done some things differently? Certainly, and it is my responsibility, no matter how crazy life is at times.
Bragging rights
When was the last time you heard someone brag on how rested they feel? When was the last time you celebrated a “normal” workweek? What’s that, what would people think?
Here’s the real question: What’s it costing you to let life’s pace drive your day?
Having influence … with your life
What is one thing you could choose to change in order to create space for reflection? What is ONE thing you can do … read that book for 15 minutes, over lunch? Say “No” to … ?
What ONE action will help you take control of the pace and get your feet back on the ground?
This week’s post has me a bit apprehensive as I write out of my journey with my story. If your worldview does not include “Christmas” you may want to pass on this one.
This is a different read, but still about personal development; living life.
This may be a difficult read, depending on your story.
Here is the email I sent our 3 married daughters and their husbands. My goal was to help us “prepare the way” for our family gathering at Christmas…
* * * * *
Merry Christmas!
Thinking ahead to next week, the weather man tells us not to dream of a white Christmas like we had last year.
Do you realize that could be a once-in-a-lifetime Christmas?
Actually, it was a once-in-a-lifetime experience!
Enough snow to go sledding; highways clear enough for you to make it “Home for Christmas”!
How much of life is “once in a lifetime”?
You’re right, all of it.
I know we continue to grow as a family. The age of your children is creating more space, less chaos; we’re figuring out how to enjoy The Journey. Today, I’m wondering…
How do we make this a memorable Christmas for them?
Grandma with our 8 grand children.
And, how do we create some space to allow us to connect as adults?
How do we connect even better with each other?
This is our first Christmas together with the children at this age.
This is our first Christmas together with the children at this age and the last.
Think about it, this is the first Christmas we’ll be together with our current story…our joy and gratitude, concerns and hopes for the future.
This is the first Christmas we’ll be together with everyone home…8 adults and 8 children; that’s quite a lot of people to play with, feed, bath, sleep, notice, and love.
However, this is not the first time we’ll come with high expectations only to experience some disappointment when it’s over.
This is the first and last time we’ll be togetherlike this.
Once-in-a-lifetime!
How will we create space for everyone…the youngest to the oldest?
Let’s plan to that end.
You are amazing.
You and your mate…well we’re proud of you.
In fact, you and your family are awesome!
Love to you, Dad and Mom
*****
Prepare for Today
How will you prepare, not just for Christmas, but for today?
How well do you ”see the people”?
Yes, it’s allonce-in-a-lifetime.
May you find joy and peace as you live in the moment and find hope for the future.
Perhaps you started this conversation with me last week. We continue looking at the power of these two words: ”what” and “if”.
Remember, powerprovides us the ability, strength, and capacity todo something; to take action.
A question is simply a request for information, when properly framed it will help us stop and explore for truth. The power of a question comes from the truthfulness of the answer.
Photo by Celesteh
Truth Brings Freedom
What do we need to move forward? Truth, facts, and reality.
Without truth we remain stuck in fear.
Questions help us stop and think.
When we give careful thought or reconsider previous actions, events, or decisions we find the path to freedom. Feedback is that factual, truthful answer; when embraced, it can set us free to experience even greater success.
Reflecting on “the story” using open-ended questions provides the ability, strength and capacity to
Change unproductive behavior(s)
Improve performance
Make a difference in our world.
That’s power!
Big Picture, Assessing Risk
Asking “What if?” can give us the power to take a risk and set us on the adventure of a lifetime. Consider Pablo Picasso’s perspective on risk-taking:
I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it.
The use of “What if?” sets us free to explore potential which usually involves some level of risk.
This nation was built by men who took risks – pioneers who were not afraid of the wilderness, business men who were not afraid of failure, scientists who were not afraid of the truth, thinkers who were not afraid of progress, dreamers who were not afraid of action. -Brooks Atkinson
Asking “What if?” may be the self-evident application of this powerful, little question.
Reversing Procrastination, taking Action
Procrastination, you’ve heard of it, right?
It’s that inclination to postpone doing something, taking action…habitually. Remember, powerprovides us the ability, strength, and capacity todo something.
So with further thought, what happens if we use “What if?” in the everyday, ordinary stuff of life, not just the adventure?
What might happen if we ask “What if I go ahead and get this done…now?”
Perhaps the simple question that begs for an answer will provide the “power” to “do something”?
Consider Cary’s comment from last week’s blog:
I’m glad I asked myself, “What if I take a moment I don’t think I have to read Steve’s words of wisdom. And what if, I told him how meaningful they were to me this very day?”
Thank you, Steve for some much-needed inspiration!
My reply to Cary follows…
What a great illustration. You applied asking “What if?” to the everyday, ordinary decisions of people with people journey…beyond the so-called “game changer” situations.
Thank you!
Now in light of your response (taking action) may I give you the answer to your 2 questions?
– I am humbled that you read what I write and it gives support to your day, today
– I am encouraged and determined to keep listening, writing, and passing along what I receive
Yes, your response to the possibility and opportunity has affected my life; thank you!
What might happen when you ask: “What if…” when
inclined to hit the snooze button
click the postpone button on that task reminder, again
that prompt comes suggesting you reach out to another person offering positive support
Do you desire power to invite your risk-taker to show up and take action?
Do you want power to tell that procrastinator to get lost and take action?
What if . . . ?
What if you forward this to a friend?
What if you post a comment and engage in the conversation?
Recently, one of my clients requested coaching for her front-line employees.
Coaching is always exciting, I love it! Most of my coaching is done with executives, managers, or business owners. So this manager’s decision to provide coaching for her staff is a gift to them, the team, the business unit.
After exploring needs and calendars we scheduled their Employee Leadership Development session. I’m excited for them.
Later that evening while walking with my wife, Rita I shared the story. She celebrated with me. Then, simply asked, “How does it compare to your 1on1 Executive Coaching and Next Level TEAM Coaching?”
Her open-ended question immediately caused me tostop and think.
That’s what a well-framed question does, invites us to stop and think. That’s good.
Her question sent me on a journey. Over the next couple of days my answer came. The answer brings greater clarity and focus to my practice as a certifed executive coach.
Well-framed questions are powerful.
How do questions help?
The open-ended question is a request for information and designed to help us stop and explore for truth.
1. Slow things Down
Questions s l o w t h i n g s d o w n; do you ever need protection from knee-jerk re-actions. What might happen if you ask a question before giving away a piece of your mind?
Have you noticed how quickly you can answer a “yes/no” question? However, an open-ended question (those starting with who, what, how, when, where, or why) can interrupt and slow down an emotionally charged conversation. That’s good.
2. Demonstrate Respect
How do you react when being told what to do? Come on, now, what is your typical response to being “told”?
How do you respond when “the boss” seeks your input? Most of us feel respected when our input is sought through an open-ended quesiton.
Yes, a well-framed, open-ended question is helpful and powerful.
3. Create Space
Often if we are to discover truth we need space: time and place to think.
Creating space is the disciplined use of time and place and resources for reflection on the truth found in the story. Your story. The story…what factually happened?
We must slow the pace to create the space required to experience personal development. To listen to our story.
There is a time conspiracy – a subversive plot to keep us so busy we don’t have time or a place for thinking, consideration, consistent reflection.
Why the pursuit of truth in the story?
Truth liberates.
Truth sheds light and opens our minds to possibilities.
What happens if we run from the truth (reality/facts)? Our growth and potential is hindered; in effect we run from future success.
What is the best predictor of future success is?
The Best Predictor of Future Success is the ability and willingness to learn and change achieved through consistent reflection on truth found in the story.
– Steve Laswell
Questions help us give careful thought to reality…the facts, when examined, become feedback. Truth allows us to choose; we can change unproductive behavior, enlarge our influence (leadership), and achieve success…yes, make a difference in the world.
Here are a few questions for fun, pick one and see what happens as you reflect on it…
If purpose gives birth to the best within us, what are you birthing?
If “raising the bar” is about the next level…where do you want to raise the bar?
What is blocking your ability to show up well and expand your influence?
What do you need to prioritize today in order to achieve your dream?
Questions (open-ended) can help us slow down an emotionally charge conversation, demonstrate respect, and create space to discover solutions.
Rita’s question created an additional coaching service. That demonstrates the power of a question.
How effective are you in using questions?
How much space do you have in your daily life for reflection?
Would you please forward to ONE friend?
What do you think…comment below; I’d love to hear from you.
