Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.  – Brian Tracy

Picture by Steve Snodgrass* flickr

Where do you feel most at home in your work-life?

When are you the least anxious, stressed or threatened?

What situations present you with little strain or tension?

Your answers may reveal your comfort zone(s).

What about public speaking? For some just the thought of presenting before a large group creates anxiety, sweaty palms, and a dry mouth. I love it.

Fear and Comfort Strange Partners

The last couple of weeks my articles have invited you to move beyond fear to freedom.

Have you noticed situations do not have to be life threatening to render us stuck in self-limiting behavior? It’s true; a perceived threat or push back against us or our ideas can stir up fear and hinder our performance.

In fact, anticipation of “danger” often keeps individuals in their comfort zones. Fear is the gatekeeper of our comfort zones.

Why do we like it there?

In the past week, when did you relax?

Let me help you out – if you trying to remember what it means to relax?

To spend time resting or doing things for pleasure, especially in contrast to or as a relief from the effort and stress of everyday life; to become less intense and concentrated; to become less anxious, hostile, defensive, or formal. (Encarta Dictionary)

Now, with this meaning in mind, how often do you relax?

• When do you spend time resting or doing things for pleasure?
• How have you lightened up?
• How intense are you … really?

Reality Check for Business Today

Increased stress in the work place is real. In his CFO article “Why Your Top Talent Wants Out” David McCann reports:

Employers appear to be missing the boat in their assumptions about what drives valued talent to seek opportunities elsewhere, judging from new research by consulting firm Towers Watson.

Human-resources professionals at 316 North American organizations identified opportunities for promotion as the top reason (among 23 listed on the survey) that high performers would leave. In a separate study of more than 10,000 employees, work-related stress was cited as the chief factor. Getting promoted was the second item on their list, but work stress didn’t crack the top five on the HR pros’ list.

“It points to a lack of awareness, and a resulting attrition risk that could play out if and when labor markets improve,” says Laury Sejen, global leader for Towers Watson. “Coming out of the recession, there’s been a mind-set shift from employees that employers may not have kept up with.”

Yet companies acknowledge they’ve been pushing people to work harder. In the survey, 65% of the HR people said employees have been working more hours than normal over the past three years, and 53% said workers will continue to put in the expanded hours over the next three years.

What is the affect of more pressure and stress on performance? How might too little time for relaxation decrease innovation?

Back to the question: Why do we like comfort zones?

Perhaps part of the answer is the need to relax. In the midst of such intensity who doesn’t desire a place of comfort?

What is a comfort zone?

Consider Alasdair White’s explanation of comfort zone in his eBook, From Comfort Zone to Performance Management:

The comfort zone is a behavioral state within which a person operates in an anxiety-neutral condition, using a limited set of behaviors to deliver a steady level of performance, usually without a sense of risk (emphasis added). ^[Wikipedia]

Where is your worry-free time and place? For some people finding such space it difficult; it’s inconceivable to even think about leaving it.

Unfortunately, security means most people live below their potential. Their life is marked by what it takes to get by, unwilling to take the risk.

How does this help explain the temptation to stay in a comfort zone? The thought goes … Life is stressful enough without leaving my “cozy zone”. What’s wrong with having a comfort zone?

It comes down to two reasons we embrace comfort zones: fear and weariness. To break out of a comfort zone requires energy to push through the fear and evaluate another approach.

What do you think? Please comment below.

Newly released, available to you and your team, a must have book:

THE PEOPLE PROJECT:

Your Guide to Changing Behavior and Growing Your Influence as a Leader

Order your copy today!

*Brian Tracy (Self-help Author, Motivational Speaker); 1944 – Source: ThinkExist

Photo Source Steve Snodgrass on flickr

Almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.   – Steve Jobs

Photo by accent on eclectic on flickr

Death helps us live.

The business of life is…  

…people.

Much of my work involves reminding people to See the People.

There is a lot of pressure in the workplace and strain on relationships at home and work. The chaos and lack of life harmony is taking its toll.

The energy crisis is human not oil. Look around, do you have enough energy to support yourself physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually?

No surprise here: lack of energy causes us to be more susceptible to fear. It takes energy to engage others; it is so easy to lose sight of the person with all the demands and pace of life.

When a problem grows between two people, they stop seeing each other and often stop wanting to see each other; forget finding solutions. Just think – politics, custody battles, domestic violence, office battles, “them”/“us”.

To deal with what matters most – the people – requires a reality check: we will all die. As Steve Jobs said,

Almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure - these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.

What a reality check: to embrace our mortality.

Perhaps you re-call Habit 2 of the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People: Begin with the end in mind.  Habit 2 is an invitation to ask the question: How do I want my life to be remembered?

Yes, the business of life is people. In fact, the business of business is people - something eternal trumps the temporal: people.

How do you want to be remembered?

There is a third response

How we show up with each other – especially when we feel threatened – is a key leadership issue. As you know, fear kicks us into survival mode:

1. Stand and Fight – “That’s right, bring it on, I’m ready for this one; make my day.”
2. Tuck and Run – “Who needs this? I don’t want or need this; I’m out a here.”

Does it have to be either or? Is there not another option? I believe there is and that is to show up super-naturally …

3. Stay and Engage – “I will see you and listen to the Story; let’s enter explore what’s going on here, together.”

Is that possible?

Beyond Fear … Freedom!

To stay and engage requires more than survival reactions … we have a choice.

Remember, fear is that “unpleasant feeling of anxiety or apprehension caused by the presence or anticipation of danger”. (Encarta Dictionary)

How do we stay and engage?

Step 1: Live Aware

Pay attention, notice your behavior; how are you show up … especially when feeling threatened? When anticipating a threat? Identify your default setting; do prefer to stand and fight or tuck and run?

Step 2: Create Space

When we create space we can access the third option: stay and engage. We have room to see the person and engage dialog for solutions.

Are you getting adequate rest and exercise? How is your diet? When do you relax, read, meditate or pray; listen to the story? Do you have energy to stay and engage?

How will you manage your emotions so you can see the person?

To create space we have to control the P.A.C.E. – four easy steps to help you stay and engage.

P – Pause and Breath

It’s amazing how a deep, cleansing breath serves us, when we feel threatened.

A – Ask Questions

• Why am I feeling threatened?
• What’s really going on here?
• Do I want to control or have influence?
• What’s the story?

C – Challenge Beliefs

What am I accepting as true…is it? How do I know?

E – Edit the Story

• If I see the other person
• Acknowledge their story, and
• Admit that there is more to the story
• How might I imagine a different story, than the one I’m telling myself right now?

Remember, freedom is “a state in which somebody is able to act and live as he or she chooses, without being subject to any undue restraints or restrictions”.  (Encarta Dictionary)

We the freedom to move from either/or … we can choose to stay and engage when the hard-wired natural bent is to either stand & fight or tuck & run.

Number our days aright…

This ancient Hebrew verse sounds appropriate as we seek to live well with others in freedom…

Teach us to number our days aright, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.  (Psalm 90:12)

What do you hear? Please comment below.

Newly released, available to you and your team, a must have book:

THE PEOPLE PROJECT:

Your Guide to Changing Behavior and Growing Your Influence as a Leader

Order your copy today!

Photo by accent on eclectric on flickr

*Steve Jobs (American Businessman); 1955-2011, Source: http://news.stanford.edu/news/2005/june15/jobs-061505.html

Mankind must evolve – for all human conflict – a method which rejects revenge, aggression, and retaliation. The foundation of such method is love.   – Martin Luther King, Jr.*

With the expectation to “do more with less” and the bare-bone staffing of business the pressure opens the door for increased interpersonal conflict.

Time-starved and sleep-deprived, people are showing up at work fatigued creating more opportunity conflict and frustration.

How do you handle the conflict?

What can you do to move from conflict – whether a colleague, direct report, family or the driver in the next lane – to a workable solution?

Here is a short video coaching tip (less than 2 minutes) on the subject:

What do you think?

How does fear, conformity, or laziness show up in creating solutions?

How well are you seeing past the problem?

How well are you seeing the people?

Please comment below.

Newly released, available to you and your team, a must have book:

THE PEOPLE PROJECT:

Your Guide to Changing Behavior and Growing Your Influence as a Leader

Order your copy today!

*American Baptist Minister and Civil-Rights Leader. (1929-1968) Source: thinkexist.com

Grief is perhaps an unknown territory for you. You might feel both helpless and hopeless without a sense of a “map” for the journey. Confusion is the hallmark of a transition. To rebuild both your inner and outer world is a major project.   - Anne Grant*

Photo by Steve Laswell - Trinity Church Parish House in Boston

My most recent “major project”, to use Anne Grant’s phrase, began on a Friday afternoon August 31, 2007. It was Labor Day weekend so our offices at the radio station were pretty well vacated.

As Station Manager of Spirit 102.3 I had scheduled an appointment with our VP/Market Manager to discuss a few programming matters … or so I thought.

Within the first couple of minutes I knew something was up, I just didn’t know what. Instead of discussing my agenda, the conversation quickly turned to the 2008 Budget. Corporate wanted substantial cuts; my future became the real agenda; my position was being eliminated.

To say I was in shock is no exaggeration and aptly illustrated by my question: “Are you telling me I’m not coming back on Monday?”

Indeed, I would not return on Monday.

I would go down the hall and pack my office and call Rita for a ride home; “my” company car was a company car.

My exit would be without the opportunity to say farewell to my team and people I truly cared about. No punch, no cookies, no farewell party for the “people person”.

Shock and awe does not overstate my emotional response.

Yes, I appreciated the assurance given that it was not a performance issue.

Yes, I appreciated the helpful severance package.

Still, I was treated like a piece of machinery, not a piece of humanity.

Last Wednesday was the Fourth Anniversary of that Friday-afternoon, end of this chapter, broadcast radio Story; that fast-track ended.

While reflecting on this part of my Story, I identified 4 steps in my response to that sudden jolt. Perhaps you can identify with my “shock-n-awe” chapter along your journey … here is what I did:

1. Breathe

When something surprising and upsetting comes, we experience shock; distress, numbness, or fear are indeed normal as the new reality sets in: I’m not coming back on Monday!

Oxygen is a grace gift from our Creator, it not only keeps us alive physically, it helps create space so we can think and helps quiet our heart and mind … a good thing for such times.

Breathe, don’t panic, “It’s just business.”

2. Forgive

Forgiveness is about freedom, our freedom.

Intellectually, I knew it was “just business” but emotionally it felt personal. So this is where a 10 year relationship brings us? This is how we will write the ending chapter of our Story?

Forgiveness is required for the other truth: it is more than “just business”.

How about some respect for the human being? No opportunity given to connect with my colleagues, direct reports, and friends; yes, friends. And, what about my sacrifices for the company?

While we could agree to disagree on the business decision, how I was “handled” was personally painful. Only forgiveness would keep from that self-limiting box and by God’s grace I escaped.

3. Create Space

Given the shock of this event, I was not prepared to make any quick decisions. As reality settled in, September was declared a sabbatical.

Sabbaticals are those designated times away from work usually for research, study, or travel and often with pay; that’s what I needed and was fortunate enough to have.

Within a matter of days, a lot of life was on the my calendar:

• my 53^rd birthday on September 4
• our sixth grandchild, Max, was born on September 5^th and required a few days in the NICU
• my wife Rita’s birthday, September 7
• our 31^st Wedding Anniversary, September 12

Thinking of September as a sabbatical released me to set October 1 as the date I would start working on “What now?” … which is what I did.

Creating space is critical to our ability to experience personal growth and continued success along the journey. It is vital to our ability to find our way and gain perspective after a sudden jolt.

4. Connect with others

I’ll never forget Lucy’s call. She was a consultant for our company and called as soon as she learned of the decision. She simply said “I believe in you.”  Thank you, Lucy and others who called over the days ahead.

(Note to self: when inclined to ignore news of someone’s jolt, move toward the person, it will never be forgotten and your call will make a difference.)

It’s not what we say; it’s that we care enough to call that matters.

These four steps – combined with my faith in God and my commitment to journal – helped me move forward into a life-changing transition bringing me to this spacious place I now enjoy as an executive coach.

What is your “sudden jolt” story?

How do you relate to these 4 steps?

What did you do to get through your “shock and awe” moment?

Please comment below.

*Anne Grant was a Scottish Poet; 1755-1838

Newly released, available to you and your team, a must have book:

THE PEOPLE PROJECT:

Your Guide to Changing Behavior and Growing Your Influence as a Leader

Order your copy today!

In this guest post, Teri Aulph shares insights on how to influence the work place climate and the relationships that surrounds us.  Leadership is influence and influence is exerted in the people space of life, which can be unfriendly and unproductive at times. Consider how to make a difference with Teri’s practical suggestions.  

Do you know someone who was in the wrong place at the wrong time and found they were victim to someone’s bad behavior?Remember when you were a teenager and your parents warned you to be cautious about with whom you hung out?

Influence is a powerful skill. It is not exclusive to designated ‘leaders’, it is often found running rampant in the ‘evil-doer’ group, as well. The defining difference is those who influence with positive intent tend to do so by example. They are not covert in how they deal with others and demonstrate a more transparent model of behavior. Their success is a by-product of how they choose to treat people, make positive choices and manage their careers…as opposed to those who create false facades and manipulate others and situations.

Those who have the ability to negatively impact your success take a very different approach. They often recruit others into their circle in order to gain negative consensus about the company, managers, co-workers, etc. They like to work through people to stir the pot or rock the boat. In this way, the light rarely shines on them minimizing their exposure. These people take the credit for the good results and point fingers of blame when things go wrong.

How can this potentially affect your success?

Most managers are aware of who these people are. They watch to see who migrates into their circles and may form opinions about people who choose to spend time with them. Why they don’t move them out is a different issue and one for a different article.

If you find yourself in a workgroup or team with people who focus on destroying individuals, companies and/or general morale, I suggest the following:

• Keep in mind negativity and destruction can only flourish if fed. Avoid feeling pressured to participate. Turning a deaf ear and withholding attention from these people will send a message that you aren’t available to partake.
• Identify people within your workgroup or team who are strong, productive and have a sense of moving forward with positive intent. These people do not spend time focusing on what isn’t working, but focus on continual improvement and celebrating success.
• Beware of those who enter into your company as ‘too good to be true’ and have a tendency to always agree and say what people want to hear. If they target decision makers for attention by overtly agreeing and lavishing compliments – red flags should fly.
• Destructive people rarely send consistent messages. They alter their attitudes, language and behavior based on to whom they are speaking. You may hear them bashing a manager to a group of co-workers and later find he/she lavishing praise on the same manager face-to-face. This is certainly not sustainable behavior, but may create havoc before it is discovered.
• Never compromise your personal integrity and ethics. Trust your instincts and if something ‘feels’ wrong, it probably should be questioned and is most likely wrong.
• Organizational cultures often feed negativity by lack of communication, without even realizing the result. If you find yourself surrounded by employees questioning management, try to get to the truth. Often it is very different than the creation of rumors.
• Last, but not least, be positive. This is one of the most powerful traits you have the ability to control. Assume positive intent and avoid those who spread negativity and relish in the demise of others.

There is no perfect workplace, but we can influence the climate and landscape of what surrounds us. Find a way to remain focused on what is working well today and how it can be improved tomorrow. 

Last week’s article started this conversation which is really about

Photo by Wyscan

 managing our lives and constant change. 

This story about being “always connected” continues and will continue as we seek to find and maintain balance, effectiveness, and ourselves. 

Last week’s post led me to re-connect with an “old friend”; yes, of course by e-mail, at first, but in the fight for a more personal connection we agreed to schedule an ancient experience – voice to voice. Here is part of what my friend, Allison wrote…

Hi Steve,

Today was my daughter’s first day of kindergarten. My alarm (on my iPhone) went off at 6 A.M. I was tired and didn’t want to get up, hit the snooze and checked my email. I then proceeded to scan approximately a dozen emails that came in my inbox since 10:00 P.M. last night when I checked it last.  I then began reading your article on over-connectedness and started laughing to myself at the irony of reading this while lying in bed!

Now I’m thinking through your question: “What fear drives this need to be connected 24/7?”

Is it my fear of “not being connected“?

Or, to look at it another way, in my mind about one in seven emails will bring a reward of sorts.

Checking your inbox brings you a sense of being connected when you receive a note from a close friend or an email from an old acquaintance you haven’t heard from in a long time. It’s always fun to open your email and get a good referral or business lead isn’t it? Better yet, it’s exciting to get that email that confirms that the business deal you’ve been working on for several months is a done deal!

Maybe I’m just looking for a “good feeling” or affirmation.

Our family just returned from a week’s vacation in Jackson Hole, Wyoming. We didn’t take computers but Bob and I both brought our iPhones. We kept our “smart phone connecting” to a minimum, I think?

I appreciate Allison’s thoughts regarding what can drive this drive to be constantly connected: 1) Reward and 2) Affirmation.  What are you looking for?

Dr Pepper e-Mail Management Plan

After reading my post last week I set out to examine and adjust my compulsive commitment to “over-connectedness”.  Here are my first steps:

Step 1: I turned off 2 of the 4 email accounts coming to my iPhone

Step 2: Explored my “Dr Pepper E-mail Management Plan”.  If you’re not familiar with Dr Pepper’s marketing strategy here is the article Roger Grace wrote in the Metropolitan News-Enterprise, a Los Angles daily paper about Dr Pepper…  

It was in the 1920s that Dr. Walter Eddy at Columbia University studied the body’s metabolism. He discovered that a natural drop in energy occurs about 10:30 a.m., 2:30 p.m. and 4:30 p.m.  But he also discovered that if the people in his research study had something to eat or drink at 10, 2 and 4, the energy slump could be avoided.

After Dr. Eddy’s research findings were released, Dr Pepper challenged its advertising agency to come up with a theme which would suggest that Dr Pepper should be that 10, 2 and 4 drink which would keep the energy level up. The result was one of the most enduring of Dr Pepper’s advertising themes: Drink a bite to eat at 10, 2 and 4.

The Dr. Pepper Company pushed the notion that ingestion of sugar at 10, 2 and 4 was actually something healthful. And, of course, parents would want their children to engage in healthful practices. 

In these days when there’s a push to rid school cafeterias and vending machines of sugar-based products and those high in carbohydrates (which turn into sugar), it’s hard to imagine an ad like the one  appearing in the Sept. 23, 1930 edition of the Port Arthur (Texas) News. It was headed, “One Healthful form of Necessary Nourishment that kids need no coaxing to drink,” and said:

“Little ‘Human dynamos’ run out of ‘juice’ between meals. That’s why they tease for sweets. Sugar is the quickest energy food and Mother Nature knows it. She prompts the appetite. It’s as natural as hunger can be.”

If your kiddies crave sugar, give them as much as they want…but in a form that can’t be abused. Dr. Pepper contains fruit juice for flavor and health…pure sugar for quick-energy supply…and sparkling water for bulk and thirst. No tax on digestion. No ingredients that can possibly harm. The small proportions of sugar to water is a safety-valve against excess.”

How would this “craving” for email be satisfied with 10/2/ 4? Right, not so well; so I thought about adapting it to 8/10/12/2/4/6/8…of course, that left out first thing in the morning and last thing at night!  Seriously? 

“Craving”, what an interesting word to associate with this subject…a strong desire for something.  What do you crave that email seems to supply? Imagine losing your “smart phone”, how would you respond?  Why?

Yes, I’m still working to define an adequate schedule for checking email.

Step 3: I turned off the “you’ve got mail” alert (on my iPhone)

Yes, I recognize these are but a beginning.

The real question: How much space do you have in your life?

As an executive coach I work with people with a lot on their plate. Intensity shows up. Little or no margin in the schedule; not much time left for personal development.

We talk about “Creating Space”; the disciplined use of time, place, and resources to reflect on the story for truth. 

How do you create space in your daily routine?

Reflection allows you to examine your life, your thinking, your performance.  To give careful thought to your behavior and performance.  Creating space allows you to examine the path you are taking and make adjustments in line with your purpose, passion, and values.

Measure your life, it just does not have room for so much.                                                                                                - Seneca

What would be the benefit to you if you create space in your life?

What happens if we fail to create space?

This “Creating Space” for consistent reflection is the secret to personal growth.

The best predictor of sustainable success is the ability and willingness to learn and change achieved through consistent reflection on the story for truth.

-Steve Laswell

A failure to create space leaves us stuck in life.  Performance suffers, next level success is sacrificed.  Your experience of life lived with purpose and passion while making a difference in the world will be limited.  Your health, mental, emotional, and spiritual well being, your relationships will suffer unless you give yourself this gift of consistent reflection.

Allison closed her email by writing…

I don’t think I’ve really said anything here significant. I’m pondering all of this because I find this phenomenon extremely interesting, as if we’re witnessing something that has never happened before in our lifetime.

Does this sound dramatic? Maybe so, but I see it stealing away our relationships to some degree. It’s the great paradox. Everyone thinks they are “more connected” with computers and smart phones. Texting and Facebook keep us all in touch with more people. Could more be less? Less faces, more aloneness.

Now I will stop. I’m beginning to sound like Steve Laswell.

How are you managing your technological connections? 

What do you think?

For further reading: some other interesting articles if you want dig deeper:

• Wall Street Journal book review of Hamlet’s BlackBerry -“To Tweet or Not to Tweet”
• Scientists are studying this; check out The New York Times, Your Brain and Computers: “Outdoors and Out of Reach, Studying the Brain”   

It was a primitive trip with a sophisticated goal: to understand how heavy use of digital devices and other technology changes how we think and behave, and how a retreat into nature might reverse those effects.

• Regarding multitasking ““First Steps to Digital Detox” posted on The New York Times – Room for Debate blog

New research is showing that such immersion can cause multitaskers to have more fractured thinking and trouble shutting out irrelevant information, and that even when they are offline, those problems persist. A lot of Americans feel stress from juggling too much incoming information, but have to be online for work.

What are some strategies for unplugging from the demand of digital devices? Is there such a thing as too much multitasking?

Again, please comment below; I’d love to hear from you.

Photo by Idealisms

Last week I re-connected with a former employee, she ran a few minutes late for our 7:05 a.m. breakfast appointment.  It was fine, as I waited outside the restaurant enjoying a 68 degree late summer morning.

Upon arrival, she apologized and explained why she didn’t call…her phone is MIA; not really lost, just not coming out of hiding.  Apparently the battery is drained so forget the prompt suggestion, “Just call your phone.”

Of course, it’s not really a phone; it is a “Smart Phone”…an intelligent device…fashionable. 

Yes, I have one.  Yes, the iPhone 4. 

Yes, it’s for my business.

My journey to hyper-connectedness started with my Blackberry (model 6230 is an “antique” by today’s advanced technology standards; good grief, its all of 6-7 years old).  

Yes, I’d heard the stories of people sleeping with their Blackberry and heard the “CrackBerry” jokes.  My boss, at the time was thrilled that our management team was going to be connected and responsive.

I can remember (am I starting to sound “old”?) when we would let the old “land line” ring when a call came in during dinner, “They’ll call back.”  Once upon a time it was considered rude to sit at the table with privacy curtain of a newspaper cutting you off from others.

Exchange of Information

Communication is about the exchange of information between people; it’s delivering a message whether spoken or written or through behavior.  I love helping people become better communicators, people connecting with people.

There is another meaning to communication having to do with “access”.  This is the opportunity to approach or connect to get information.  No breaking news here, information is available 24/7 which is giving some traditional delivery systems the challenge of their lifetime.

When is 24/7 access too much?

Tim Ferris provides some interesting stats on his blog, “Experiments in Lifestyle Design” around e-mail addiction and information overload. Consider,

66% of people read email seven days a week and expect to receive a response the same day

61% continue to check email while on vacation

56% have anxiety if they can’t access email

“CrackBerry” was the official winner of the 2006 Word-of-the-Year as selected by the editorial staff of Webster’s New World College Dictionary. Blackberry addiction has been labeled “similar to drugs” in a study performed by Rutgers University; millions of users are now able unable to go more than five minutes without checking e-mail.

According to online surveys of more than 4,000 people, conducted jointly by AOL and the Opinion Research Corporation and reported in 2005:

41% of Americans check e-mail first thing in the morning

• 18% check e-mail right after dinner
• 14% check e-mail right when they get home from work
• 14% check e-mail right before they go to bed
• 40% have checked their e-mail in the middle of the night

More than one in four (26%) say they can’t go more than two to three days without checking email, and they check it everywhere:

• In bed – 23%
• In class – 12%
• In business meetings – 8%
• At the beach or pool – 6%
• In the bathroom – 4%
• While driving – 4%

So, how you doing…where does your behavior fit in?

The new “overtime”?

A recent article in the Chicago Sun-Times tells about a Police Sergeant suing for compensation due to his off-duty time spent working on his Blackberry.

Sgt. Jeffrey Allen’s job had him on an electronic leash of sorts.

Even when he was off duty, Allen says, he performed work on his department-issued BlackBerry. Now he wants to get paid for the off-duty time he spent on the device.

Allen has sued the city in federal court, seeking overtime pay for up to two years. His lawsuit, filed earlier this year, seeks OT for similarly situated officers, too.

“Over a period of years, I am confident there are hundreds of hours,” said Paul Geiger, one of his attorneys.

Allen was issued a BlackBerry while he was in the gang-investigations unit. “These guys, regardless of rank, are spending in some cases hours on the phone dealing with search-warrant issues and calls from supervisors about cases — and they’re working when it’s not their tour of duty,” Geiger said.

“We have reached a point in society where it’s very easy to get a whole lot of unpaid work from employees just by the use of these devices,” Geiger said. “I want people to get paid for the work they do.”

Who’s been sleepin’ in my bed?

The Pew Research Center is a nonpartisan “fact tank” that provides information on the issues, attitudes and trends shaping America and the world by conducting public opinion polling and social science research.  

Their recent report on Millennials provides interesting information on cell phone use. The line between work life and personal life is being blurred with each generation, with each new device. Millennials are being called the first “always-connected” generation in history. According to the report:

Millennials are more likely than older Americans to treat their cell phones as a necessary and important appendage. Many even bring their cell phones to bed. A majority (57%) of the public has placed their cell phone on or right next to their bed while sleeping. (Page 39)

What’s the price of “always connected”?

In 1992, the United Nations declared stress the “20th Century epidemic.”

In our fast-paced society, where information overload is common place and each day involves hundreds of decisions and interruptions, stress finds a fertile field. Perhaps nowhere is the rise in stress more real than your workplace.

An article on Bank of America’s Small Business website suggests,

Stress-induced health issues, absenteeism, employee turnover, and lower productivity cost our economy an estimated $300 million a year. On average, according to data from the Center for Economic and Policy Research, adults in the United States work longer hours and take less vacation than workers in any other industrialized nation. Perhaps then, it’s no surprise that a recent study of 2,500 American workers by CareerBuilder.com found that more than three out of four-77 percent-feel overworked and burned-out at their jobs.

What is the cost in your life of being “always connected”?

What are we afraid of?

One of my coaching exercises “Next Level Journey” delivers this powerful truth about what hinders sustained success.  The limitations become a box of sorts which is… 

Ancient behavior that hinders future success due to fear-based emotions.

Work that backwards and we see how ”fear” drives old behaviors, which hinder performance and success.

Here’s the question: What fear drives this need to be connected 24/7?

Leaving breakfast, my friend suggested she may not replace her “Smart Phone” opting out for “just a cell phone”.  Why? She’s enjoying the freedom.

What do you think?  How do you manage the expectation to be connected 24/7?

Please comment…I’d love to hear from you.

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Photo by U.S. Fish & Wildlife Service - NE Region

Intensity happens.

What happens when the heat index is this intense?

• People try to escape from it
• People tend to feel exhausted
• More effort is required to stay engaged
• Systems are pressed to their limit; air conditioning and dehydration come to mind…

The National Weather Service reminds us excessive heat is dangerous,

“The combination of hot temperatures and high humidity will combine to create a dangerous situation in which heat illnesses are possible.”

When something or someone is intense, it is an indication of an extreme degree of something…like the temperature, but of course I’m thinking about people. 

Intensity often shows up as a strength overextended, the use of force or authority, that raw emotion on display; unproductive behaviors.

Intensity happens. 

For most of us, “being intense” happens sooner or later; for some it’s right now, not later.  Which best describes you?

When does intensity happen in your work and life?

Intensity, as an unproductive behavior, often shows up when

• Expectations are not met
• Cooperation is not received
• One’s control feels threatened
• Emotion-based fear sits in the driver’s seat

One of my recent clients began their coaching engagement with “off the chart” intensity.  As we examine the story, his on-boarding was poorly managed with unrealistic expectations.  His up line manager’s behavior was driven by personal success and advancement, too.

Combine all the details with his core motive “to be right” and what happens?  Unregulated behavior (intensity) designed to say, “I’ll show you; I’ll prove I can do this job!”  This created success-limiting behavior. 

Misery accompanies “off the chart intensity” (like a hot summer day) and you know what misery likes, right? Yes, company.

Could that be “career-limiting intensity”?

Perhaps you heard about the JetBlue airline attendant, Steven Slater and his intense, on-the-job demonstration.  As the story goes, Slater reached his breaking point with an alleged passenger situation; he grabbed a beer, popped open the emergency exit door, took a ride down the inflatable slide, and ran across the tarmac to his car in employee parking.  Could that be “career-limiting”?

What’s interesting to me is how this story seems to resonate with people in the workplace.  It seems to be the “fantasy story” for a frustrated, under-appreciated, and over loaded work force.

Sara Kagle, an 18 year airlines’ veteran writes in the Wall Street Journal about her experience in the crew room after the misnamed “jump to freedom” incident.

I headed to the airport on Monday having just heard about JetBlue flight attendant Steven Slater’s now famous jump to freedom. I expected a reaction, but not the phenomena that has followed. In the crew room, I could hear everyone sharing the news. The story was still unbelievable to me, and to everyone else. One fellow flight attendant didn’t believe me when I told her, another heard it and thought there must be more to the story — and, indeed, investigators are questioning the account.

But, mostly the reaction was the same: “I love this!” “Good for him!” “He’s my Hero!”

So, why do flight attendants feel this way? Do we really think that Steven Slater is a hero?

I’ll let you read her article for her take as this post is about the impact of intensity in your work.

How might you avoid an unfortunate, regrettable experience ignited by the demonstration of intense behavior? 

Three, no Four Simple Steps

Consider these simple actions as a place to begin to help manage your intense moments…

1. Breathe; a slow, cleansing, deep breath
2. Smile; (I know, it is counter intuitive, just try it and see)
3. Repeat, “I’m cool” (something is threatening your identity)
4. Reality Check: What’s true here? What’s my desired outcome?

Simple, not easy, especially during the intense moment. 

Consider this: What is the cost of intensity on your relationships, performance, health, and life?

My client emailed me after a couple of coaching sessions:

I have had a great couple of days.  I feel more confident and stronger than ever.  I also saw my level of intensity for the first time, kind of disappointing.    (Emphasis added)

Enjoy reflecting on these questions, if you wish:

1. How intense are you on a scale of 1 (low) to 6 (extremely)?
2. When are you the most intense?  Listen to your story…
3. How do you view your intensity, as a strength or weakness?
4. How do you think others experience you when you are intense?
5. How do you know that?

As for Mr. Slater

His unproductive behavior is allowing him to be charged with criminal mischief, reckless endangerment, and trespassing.  According to the WSJ, Slater

…has been cast as a working-class hero by some in the media and on the Internet for telling off rude passengers and then quitting in style.  His attorney said Slater…who pleaded not guilty to the charges, appreciates the support but isn’t enjoying the spotlight and only wants to return to aviation.

“This is a man who only cares about his industry, the airline industry,” Mr. Turman said. “He wants to thank JetBlue. It is a wonderful airline. Steven loves working for them and wishes to continue working for them.”

JetBlue has said that Mr. Slater has been suspended.

What is the impact of a “high intensity index” on others around you?  Much like the 105 degree temperatures people will…

• …try to escape from you
• …feel exhausted around you
• …invest more effort to stay engaged working with you
• …be pressed to their limit

Intensity has its price, so remember:

Breath…Smile…Repeat, “I’m cool.”

And, take that reality-check.

What do you think?  How do you combat “too intense” in today’s intense work place?

Please comment below; I’d love to hear from you.

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How well are you protecting your personal well being?  

Perhaps you saw “Jaws”, I didn’t but here’s the story line.  What subtle life messages do you hear in it?

Martin Brody is the police chief of Amity, an island resort town somewhere in New England. One summer morning, Brody is called to the beach, where the mangled body of a summer vacationer has washed ashore. The medical examiner tells the chief it could have been a shark that killed the swimmer.

The Mayor, who is desperate to keep the revenue from July 4th tourists wants Brody to say the young woman’s death was caused by a motorboat propeller instead of a shark…because the thought of a shark would drive tourists away from Amity. 

[Note to self…it looks like the mayor puts money ahead of people's lives.]

Shark expert Matt Hooper believes the female swimmer was killed by a shark. Hooper is proven right a few days later, when another person is killed.

Quint, the shark hunter offers to find the shark and kill it, but Police Chief Vaughn thinks his $10,000 professional service fee is too high.  Meanwhile, Mayor Vaughn leaves the beaches open; he still wants the summer revenue.

After another crazy experience the mayor agrees to hire Quint to find the shark.

Here is the dialog where Quint responds to the mayor’s challenge:  

Quint: Y’all know me. Know how I earn a livin’. I’ll catch this bird for you, but it ain’t gonna be easy. Bad fish. Not like going down the pond chasin’ bluegills and tommycods. This shark, swallow you whole. Little shakin’, little tenderizin’, an’ down you go.

And we gotta do it quick, that’ll bring back your tourists, put all your businesses on a payin’ basis. But it’s not gonna be pleasant. I value my neck a lot more than three thousand bucks, chief. I’ll find him for three, but I’ll catch him, and kill him, for ten.

But you’ve gotta make up your minds. If you want to stay alive, then ante up. If you want to play it cheap and be on welfare for the whole winter.

I don’t want no volunteers, I don’t want no mates, there’s just too many captains on this island. Ten thousand dollars for me by myself. For that you get the head, the tail, the whole damn thing.

When do you yell “Shark!”?

If you’ve heard me speak or read much of my stuff you know I’m about developing people. 

As The People Developer it is my heartfelt duty to proclaim this warning: “Business Eats People!” 

Business (your work) will take whatever you are willing to give it and still want more. It’s the nature of business to take, consume, produce…; take, consume, produce…; take, consume, produce.  This is how business functions – not good or bad, right or wrong…just how it is.

Knowing this to be true, I hope you work at a business that values people (you). 

You see, I believe the business of business is people. 

When a business takes care of its people, the people will take care of the business.

When this is not the case, work will “…swallow you whole. Little shakin’, little tenderizin’, an’ down you go.”  Did I hear “Shark!”?

But what about OSHA?

This of course is the Occupational Safety and Health Administration of the United States.  According to Wikipedia, OSHA

…was created by Congress under the Occupational Safety and Health Act signed by President Richard M. Nixon, on December 29, 1970.  Its mission is to prevent work-related injuries, illnesses, and occupational fatality by issuing and enforcing standards for workplace safety and health.

As well intentioned and valuable as the mission of this agency may be OSHA is not there to protect your work-life balance. It will not encourage you to live out your values or make sure you are engaged in meaningful work or that you are doing work that you enjoy or that allows you to use your strengths. 

No one will do this OR can do this…except you.

The setting of boundaries, the negotiation of expectations, and making choices that lead to living life with purpose and passion while serving others is our personal responsibility. “The company” or “the boss” will not do it…not even when a business leader says “our most important asset is our people.”  Remember the nature of business is to eat people.  It is not right or wrong, it just is.  Whatever you are willing to sacrifice it will take.

This is not an attack on “big business” or business “in general” or “capitalism”.  No profit, no business, no provision.  It is about being aware of the sign on the beach. 

It is about embracing personal responsibility for your personal development which includes living well.

Have you experienced the affect of downsizing? 

The pressure to do more with less is on like never before!  More pressure, greater demands, and work will “…swallow you whole. Little shakin’, little tenderizin’, an’ down you go.”

How might you move forward…?

1. Pay attention to your story - What’s the message around hours worked, stress, your health, strain on your relationships? How well are you living out your values?
2. Be intentional – Where can you make an adjustment? What’s one thing you can do to “take back your life”?
3. Solicit support – Everyone needs an objective person to ask real questions and encourage the hard choices

There’s a man-eating creature out there.

How are you protecting your personal well being?  

 “The Best Predictor of Continued Success is the ability and willingness to learn and change achieved through consistent reflection on the Story.”

-Steve Laswell

What you think? Do you like this post?

Please leave your comment about this post on the comment section below.  Would you forward to a friend or tweet it?

Thanks for reading The People Project blog.

Photo by Xlibber

What is the pace of your life these days?  

That is the question I posed last week during a group coaching session. We were about to discuss “The Path to Future Success” — what is the pace of your life? 

Here are the some of the responses those leaders gave:

• Speed of light
• Rough
• Busy
• Laid back due to uncertainty/change
• Adapting to circumstances
• Crazy
• Extremely fast, no down time
• Comfortable
• Usually fast, slowing it forcibly
• Fast and Furious

Where do you identify?

What happens when you are overly occupied with activity? What’s the impact of being so committed to something that you are unable to undertake another activity of a greater value?

When does your schedule seem ridiculous…to the point that it’s not practical or showing good sense, “it’s crazy”?  What is that costing you?

What is the affect when you are doing nearly everything in “fast” mode?

What’s your world like?

Did you see the Peter Bregman’s recent Harvard Business Review blog, “Why I Returned My iPad”?  I appreciate his candor; what do you think?

A little more than a week after buying the iPad, I returned it to Apple. The problem wasn’t the iPad exactly, though it has some flaws. The problem was me.

I like technology, but I’m not an early adopter. I waited for the second-generation iPod, the second-generation iPhone, and the second-generation MacBook Air.

But the iPad was different. So sleek. So cool. So transformational. And, I figured, since it’s so similar to the iPhone, most of the kinks would already be worked out.

So at 4 PM on the day the 3G iPad was released, for the first time in my life, I waited in line for two hours to make a purchase.

I set up my iPad in the store because I wanted to make sure I could start using it the very moment I bought it. And use it I did. I carried it with me everywhere; it’s so small and thin and light, why not bring it along?

I did my email on it, of course. But I also wrote articles using Pages. I watched episodes of Weeds on Netflix. I checked the news, the weather, and the traffic. And, of course, I proudly showed it to, well, anyone who indicated the least bit of interest.

It didn’t take long for me to encounter the dark side of this revolutionary device: it’s too good.

It’s too easy. Too accessible. Both too fast and too long-lasting. Certainly there are some kinks, but nothing monumental. For the most part, it does everything I could want. Which, as it turns out, is a problem.

Sure I might want to watch an episode of Weeds before going to sleep. But should I? It really is hard to stop after just one episode. And two hours later, I’m entertained and tired, but am I really better off? Or would it have been better to get seven hours of sleep instead of five?

The brilliance of the iPad is that it’s the anytime-anywhere computer. On the subway. In the hall, waiting for the elevator. In a car on the way to the airport. Any free moment becomes a potential iPad moment.  (emphasis added)

The iPhone can do roughly the same thing, but not exactly. Who wants to watch a movie in bed on an iPhone?

So why is this a problem? It sounds like I was super-productive. Every extra minute, I was either producing or consuming.

Every extra minute, I was either producing or consuming. Sound familiar?

How is this pace affecting your life?

That’s the question I ask my coaching group next; here are their responses?

• Impacts my outlook on life
• My health
• Lacking a sense of direction
• Miss-focused, not concentrating on what is important
• Feeling short-changed
• Feeling out of control
• Exhausted
• Questioning: Where am I?  Who am I?
• Loss of contentment
• Drinking more Red Bull
• Loss of quality
• Out of balance
• Hurting my performance
• Impacting my life
• Hard on relationships

Now, how is the pace of life impacting you?

Life is accelerated, everything seems to happen faster, develop faster, change faster.

The point of the coaching session was to establish how to accelerate personal growth.

Here’s the principle to consider…

The way to accelerate personal growth is to slow life down.

How will you slow down your life today? 

What’s one thing that is so doable it’s laughable? What can you do that will help slow life down?

Tell us what you think.

Please leave your comment about this post on the comment section below.

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Forward to your friends or tweet it…and thanks for reading The People Project blog.

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