“By anyone’s standard I was a success,” said Barbara Corcoran.
Perhaps you know Corcoran as one of the “sharks” on Shark Tank. The American reality television series allowing entrepreneurs to sell their business idea and get funding for their startup. The sharks are potential investors.
“But I knew I was going bankrupt,” she continued. “And you know what I did – I went out and took a full-time job while I worked my business. There is nothing wrong with stepping back before you go forward.”
What’s your approach?
Your goal is important. You know what you want to accomplish — your dream, vision or mission — but you’ve hit a wall. Resistance (whether internal or external) blocks your path.
The frustration is real. You can roll your battering ram into position. You can adopt a “take no prisoners” approach and ruthlessly pursue your objective. Or you can create space and engage the process of change.
Three “simple” questions
As you choose to step back, here are three simple but important questions to help you move forward:
1. What got you here?
As you examine the Story, guard against defense responses such as blame, denial, rationalizing, minimizing, or playing the victim card. To move forward, you must seek the truth.
Anger — feeling irritated, annoyed, displeased, or hostile — comes from unfulfilled expectations. Frustration, whether with yourself or someone else, makes it easy to buy a lie: “I’m such a …” “She always…” and leads to examining only half the Story.
2. What does it look like, to get there?
When you feel stuck, frustrated, or the pain of failure, it is important to re-state your destination. Where were you headed? Who do you want to be? What do you want for your life, career, that relationship? What’s your preferable future?
3. How will you get there?
The journey is about transformation. How will you change so that you can release control to have influence? What must shift in your thinking, beliefs, attitude, expectations, and yes your behavior to get there and achieve success?
The three realities about your “here” to “there” journey:
- What got you here, won’t get you there
- While here is to be celebrated, there is greater still
- To get there something must end, or you’ll be stuck here
Expanding your personal influence begins with creating space to step back and seek truth in the Story.
Creating Space for reflection
Barbara Corcoran took a $1000 loan to start The Corcoran Group. Her “overnight” success took years to achieve. It was her willingness to step back that has allowed her to succeed.
Where do you need to step back to move forward in 2016?
Grab your pen and journal. Schedule the time or it won’t happen.
(This exercise will require more than a few minutes of reflection.)
- What got you here?
- What does there look like for you?
- How will you get there?
For a holistic plan, ask these three questions within the larger Story:
- Business/Career: performance, results, ambition
- Financial: savings, debt-free, contributions
- Physical: nutrition, activity, ideal weight
- Mental: new skills, reading, training, coaching
- Family: time together, 1on1 time, communication
- Spiritual: growth, volunteer, reading
- Lifestyle: hobby, travel, adventure
- Relationships: friends, mentor, organizations
Here’s to your future success in 2016,