“After living with their dysfunctional behavior for so many years (a sunk cost if ever there was one), people become invested in defending their dysfunctions rather than changing them.” — Marshall Goldsmith
Last week I pointed out that future success is not always about starting something new. The question – What do you want now? – is repeated daily, season by season, with each surprise and every achievement.
What do you want?
If you want to use last week’s blog as a reflective exercise, go here.
“What do you want?” requires an understanding that:
What got you “Here” will not get you “There”
While “Here” is to be celebrated, “There” is greater still
To get “There” something must end or I’ll be stuck “Here”
Another dimension to be considered that could limit moving forward is success. Thank you, Will Cook, for pointing this out with your comment last week.
With your purpose, mission, and vision in mind regarding your future (or that of your business) take it step further:
- What will have to come to an end?
- What will you need to stop doing to get “there”?
Moving forward requires the ending of something holding us back.
How do you feel about change?
A rather effective leader in the fight for equal rights for everyone was King Whitney, Jr., he writes:
Change has a considerable psychological impact on the human mind. To the fearful it is threatening because it means that things may get worse. To the hopeful it is encouraging because things may get better. To the confident it is inspiring because the challenge exists to make things better.
Change seems to be one of those things people tend to love or hate.
Why is that? It could be our response depends
- On the source of the suggested change — “Their” idea vs. “My” idea or “Our” idea
- On how much we care about whatever is being “left behind”
- Our thinking about change
What will have to come to an end?
Asked another way, what one thing would you like to change? Where would change in your life bring freedom, peace, joy, success, influence, results?
Go ahead; name it – the more precise the better.
Dig a little deeper
As you think about a specific change you are facing, which response best describes what you feel? Are you …
What is creating this fear within you about making that specific change?
How does the thought of making that change encourage you?
What gives you faith to believe the best is yet to be, once you make the change?
The change I’m asking you to think about is within your authority to bring about; it is your life, our business.
How will making the change release you to succeed and grow your influence?
How do you move from “Here” to “There”?
Here are four steps associated with The Journey of Change.
Desire. This is more than a simple wish; it is a longing, craving, or yearning. (Think chocolate or sleep after a long drive).
Desire is where it begins.
What if you lack the desire to make a change? Prepare yourself for desperation. Once desperation (pain) exceeds your resistance or your pain tolerance you will want to move forward … lay aside something “old” for something “new.”
Are you desperate? Can you imagine the consequences if you don’t make this change? In other words, what will it cost you if you don’t?
Desire fueled by desperation becomes enhanced with understanding.
Understanding means you comprehend the benefits of something, such as making a change. Desire increases with understanding. What will you gain when you make this change?
Desire, developed by desperation and understanding creates an action-orientation; which is
Discipline. What comes to your mind with the word “discipline”? Discipline is about “doing” … it is having a systematic method to move forward. Desire moves us to action; discipline provides a path to follow.
Often what is needed is commitment; consistent action will achieve the desired outcome or something better.
What must you do to reach your goal? What action step is so doable it is laughable; meaning your response is to say: “I can do that!”
Desire leads to doing and requires…
Determination. Significant change in behavior must be supported. Opposition is part of the journey. Old habits, old ways of thinking, comfort zones, fears, doubt, and natural resistance rise up to defeat many on The Journey of Change. Your commitment, with clarity on why will support the resolve to see it through.
Desire applied to discipline with determination will eventually become …
Delight. It’s a great day when the change is completed, the dreaded “what if?” was another ridiculous fear and you are moving forward.
Change, whether individual or organizational, starts with desire. Desire moves us into action; determination keeps us engaged until the new behavior or structure change or whatever it is becomes the successful, new reality…and that is a fine day.
Positive change brings its own reward. The Journey of Change moves us from fear and resistance to accomplishment and delight including the positive rewards of growth!
Your Personal Reflection
- Where are you on the Journey of Change?
- Which do you need? Desire, discipline, or determination?
- What change have you made in the past that brings you delight today?
Like this article? Who could you forward it to? Your Tweet will be appreciated; and I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Pick up your copy of my new book:
THE PEOPLE PROJECT:
Your Guide to Changing Behavior and Growing Your Influence as a Leader
Order your copy today!
Quote Source: Leadership Now