“We’ll head to the swimming cove,” David explained. He was the captain of our lake-worthy vessel. “It’s a spring-fed cove. You’ll enjoy pockets of cool water; it’s very refreshing on a hot day like today,” he continued. Dave didn’t know of my deep respect for water. To be clear, I like water in a bottle, a glass, a tub, a hot tub, a pool, a lake, even the ocean so long as the depth is less than the height of my chin.
We dropped anchor at the Fort Gibson Lake spring-fed “swimming hole.” It was over my head aright, some 18’ deep.
So I sat on the back of the boat while other adults and three of our grandsons joyously played in the cooler spring waters. Yes, I had a life-jacket available. However, my “respect of water over 5 foot deep,” my fear kept me on board, hot and dry. It was an embarrassing conversation in my head.
Where have I been?
My first blog, “How to Make Failure Serve You” posted on my website on October 26, 2009. I wrote regularly to my Next Level Community until October 2016 when I engaged in the long process required to write my third book.
My last blog post published on January 19, 2017, as my focus shifted to writing Leaders Create Space. In April, the manuscript and cover design were approved. Goal achieved. Breathe.
Now, we wait for the public relations campaign to begin.
Stuck on the Journey
After the push and hard work of writing, Leaders Create Space; I experienced the “let down” of goal achievement. Dr. Eileen Kennedy-Moore, writing in Psychology Today, calls it “Post-Adrenaline Blues.”
“When we push and push and push and then STOP, we often experience what I call “Post-Adrenaline Blues.” It’s usually a temporary condition, but while we’re in it, we feel miserable. We’re depleted, dissatisfied, and prone to questioning everything about our lives.”
Whether it was “Post-Adrenaline Blues” or not I don’t know, but I do know I was “stuck on the boat” when I thought about re-starting my blog. For me, it degenerated into fear-based thinking, and for a couple of months, I put-off re-connecting with you.
Fear of rejection felt like deep water. What if you don’t want to receive my thoughts on personal development? What if you don’t remember how we connected and you permitted me to show up in your life? What if you think I’m spamming you? What if…? Ugh!
The choice is yours
In my coaching process, I call this “The Box” or “The Cave.” It’s where we live when old behavior hinders performance due to fear-based thinking and emotions. Such negative emotions as anxiety, anger, resentment, frustration, control, irritation, impatience, depression, confusion, loneliness, or unforgiveness. Behaviors are driven by fear living us stuck while focused on self.
The alternative is freedom, and it’s what I call a “Spacious Place.” It’s when we’re living life with purpose and passion while seeing and serving others. Your Spacious Place provides energizing emotions like love, joy, peace, gratitude, appreciation, kindness, caring, faith, trust, compassion, contentment, patience, forgiveness, and gentleness. With our focus on others, we have the freedom to move forward and make a difference.
Creating space for reflection
Following a reality-check and chat with myself, I acknowledged the truth in the Story and slipped into the lake. After a few minutes, I was able to relax and enjoy the fresh spring water. I was no longer a prisoner of fear.
- What do you fear? Name it. Why?
- What’s the truth in the Story?
- How are the “What if…?” questions holding you back?
- What can you do today to get moving?
Here’s to your freedom to write the Story you want to tell,
PS: Extra perspective. Thanks to Roy H. Williams for sharing Travis Jacobs’ “Fear Fear” video in his Monday Morning Memo. Enjoy! (Some language involved.)
Photo credit: Marcel Oosterwijk “Revolving Door, Public Library” Amsterdam via flickr